Destination Unknown

Kidnapping & Cheesecake

2012-02-18T10:49:00.001-06:00

The element of surprise is always a wonderful way to make some one's day - especially if the surprise is a good one.

Yesterday turned out to be a really nice day. Granted, we had the toilet situation, which I am happy to report was corrected by 4pm. THANK GOD. Being able to flush toilets is a luxury many of us do not even realize we have.

I finally got dressed, grabbed my things, and headed into Macon with my mom. I dropped her off at the gallery for the Winter Arts Festival sponsored by the Middle Georgia Art Association. The pieces they had displayed were phenomenal. Mom says they gave out over a thousand dollars in prizes. Congrats to the winners! Want to learn more about MGAA? Click HERE . (Just a side note - many of you are artists, if you are interested in selling your goods, there is a HUGE Arts festival in town each spring sponsored by MGAA. Trust me, if you live in Georgia, you know about this festival. If you are interested in flying/driving down and participating (and I guarantee you will sell your goods,) just click HERE. My mom is the president of the organization that does this event, if you want to talk to someone, I can connect you!)

After perusing the art, I met up with my friends at Leslie & Philip's house. You have to understand, they were being super secretive about what was going on. Finally, we all head out to the car, and Phillip says, "If you need to go to the bathroom, do so now." I sort of looked at them perplexed, and said, "Okay.. where are you taking me?" Of course, no one would say anything.

While we were driving off, I was not paying attention to where we were going, since I was steadily trolling Twitter.. so I was unable to see if we were going north or south on 75, that is, until we hit a town outside of Macon called, Forsyth. I knew immediately, okay.. "I think we are heading to Atlanta - but where?"

Sure enough, Atlanta it was.. and we had a spectacular night. :-)

Buffalo Blasts - Shredded chicken with buffalo sauce deep fried in a crispy wonton wrapper!

Chocolate Coconut Cheesecake

Phillip & Leslie

Lisa & I

Trying for a different angle.. LOL

The flash was killing us!

Chatting as I opened presents!

Always a good choice. My other DVD had a scratch!

I love the back of it - reads, "This Amazon Woman Bows down to No Man."

The fabulous Fox Theater in Atlanta!

The book my sister gave me!

The journal my niece gave me...

The present from my sister

My mom gave me these cool shell ear rings she picked up in Key West.

The strawberry cake with strawberry icing my mom made. (Used Instagram for the cool frame.)

Finally, Mr. Lestat - much cuddle time with him!

Well folks, my birthday weekend is going pretty good. Had a great chat with the egyptian yesterday. He is still diligently searching for a job in LA - plus, tonight - what am I doing tonight???

For that mystery click - HERE

HAVE A GREAT SATURDAY!

Shaking the bad mood blues..

2012-02-17T08:44:00.002-06:00

I survived my 39th birthday, with barely a scratch. Outside of too much strawberry cake and too little vegetables, I might feel okay by tomorrow.

It was fairly uneventful - mainly watching a recorded episode of Survivor, the 2 hour American Idol Vegas week, and Jersey Shore... nothing much happened. Mom made tacos (my favorite thing... wait.. one of my favorite things.) I ate more cake.

My mom did use me as a test subject for an art class she plans to teach. It's like "Sips N Strokes" in Birmingham, but this one is in Millegeville - and she wanted to use someone who is not artistic to see if I could follow instruction and paint a picture of sunflowers. So I spent over an hour -painting - something I NEVER do. (I will reveal the painting in a post birthday weekend picture blog.)

I finally got the egyptian on the phone, and we went through all of our salutations. Finally, I said, "Do you know what today is?" He replies, "I think it is Thursday." Seriously folks.
He did not remember it was my birthday.
The best part of the day was Autumn swinging the front door open, coming around the corner with a big smile and the sweetest little voice, with her arms opened wide saying, "Happy Birwth Day. It's yowr Birwth Day."

I asked her to help me blow out the singing candle, and of course, she was quicker than me. Not sure who got the wish! ;-)

Woke up this morning, well.. let's just call it what it is - irritable. I think I know why. This is about to get real personal.. but here you go...

Soooo... my family lives out in the country. Which means, no city sewer system. They have a septic tank, and to be perfectly honest, I don't know the ins and outs of it all... but apparently it has to be "emptied" periodically by some group like Rotorooter or something like that. (YUCK.)
What a crappy job - pun intended.

Sooo.. a couple of days ago, we noticed the toilets needed to be plunged more often than not. Then the water began to back up in the master bedroom's bathroom. Followed by the smell of.. oh yeah.. (hope you have already eaten today) sewage.

Sooo.. they call a place to come do the job, and it will be a day or two. Now.. I am sooo about to go "there" - you cannot flush toilets. If you need to go to the bathroom, say.. umm.. in another way, you have to place a plastic bag under the toilet seat and carry it to a trash bag and dispose of it. If you take a shower, you must plug up the tub, wet your hair, turn off the water while lathering, turn it back on to rinse.. oh and here's my favorite part - take a bowl and scoop out the water, then put it in a bucket and carry to pour outside.

This was as of yesterday. God willing the sewage people will get here today.

I am not happy.

So much so - that I refuse to do what they are asking, and will get in my car and drive 8 miles to the nearest gas station, and take care of business.

I wish I were kidding.

It is so disgusting, and something I NEVER talk about - but I knew we could all find some humor in this situation. It's horrible. HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE.

Not to mentioned, I am going to meet some friends tonight - sooo.. I have to go through the shower situation in order to get ready. Pray for my sanity. Seriously.

And the hits keep on coming...

Rainy Day Birthday

2012-02-16T09:32:00.002-06:00

Here we are - 39. Let me type that one more time - 3-9. Where did the time go? No, seriously! WHERE DID IT GO?

I know we all type those, "Oh it seems like yesterday I was just learning to ride a bike.." but seriously, IT SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY I WAS LEARNING TO RIDE A BIKE.

Here I am.

38 was not kind to me - for over 1/2 of the year I was unemployed. Also - note to self, that's a REALLY long time to be jobless.

No need to rehash the details. Let's just say this birthday looks completely different from last year's birthday.

For one, as I was driving to work last year, my manager called to offer me a really nice raise. How 'bout them apples? Funny how that worked out, just 6 months later she and her boss would be sitting across from telling me I am no longer useful.

This year, I wake up to a house (my parent's) that the sewage system is starting to cause problems, and hopefully Rotorooter will be here soon. It's raining. Blah.. Blah..

I promise you, I am looking for the sparkle. I am. I search for it on every corner. I wish I could just click my heels three times and find myself in my own place, going to a fabulous job, and coming home to evenings with my egyptian. But this birthday is a completely different ballgame.

Last night, while watching the 2-hour American Idol (WOW - was sooo good. What's up with all of the fainting?) I asked Autumn to give me my birthday present early. She and my sister went out to the car and brought in two adorable bags. One was Tiffany blue (she knew I wanted a Breakfast at Tiffany's birthday.) and inside of it was a great book - "Fifth Avenue, 5am" by Sam Wasson. Here is a description from the NY Times:

Sam Wasson’s “Fifth Avenue, 5 A.M.” is willing to take a fond and incisive look, if not Paramount’s self-importantly tough one. This alluring little book is devoted to the contradictions that pervade “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”: the contrivances that kept it so frothy, the weirdly backhanded feminist message (Holly was certainly free spirited) and the unusual place occupied by this sprite, her evening gown and her 5 a.m. Fifth Avenue Danish in the history of American film.

I am looking forward to it, as soon as I finish Greg Iles, "Third Degree."

My niece also picked out for me a black journal, with Dorothy's ruby red slippers on the cover, and inside it told me to click my heels, etc. My sister said she picked it out all by herself, little did she know I am a HUGE Wizard of Oz fan! I always love a good handwritten journal. Perhaps I will take some of your advice, and work on gathering my memoirs about food, culture, etc - and start compiling an idea for a book.

That's the end of my birthday presents. However, mom is supposed to make me a strawberry cake with strawberry icing. You see, as a kid - I was CRAZY for what I would call ballet pink. Or carnation pink. She would make me a pink cake. On top would sit my ballerina, with her tutu in pink icing. Mom admits years later that because my birthday falls two days after Valentine's Day, it was always easier to pick up the strawberry mix, and typically it was on sale. Gee.. thanks, mom.

But it has been a tradition. Finally, I am back home, and will partake of the strawberry tradition.
I have a hot night lined up - American Idol for two hours, followed by Jersey Shore, and I will watch Survivor on the DVR. (I missed it last night.) I will not change out of my PJs. I will consume coffee.. and that's about it. ;-)

BTW - I wanted to share some info on the possible job, the District Manager called today and asked for my info on my no-compete clause with my old tv station. (Apparently the background check picks up everything.) I explained that had to deal with other tv stations. What I take from that call - sounds like maybe

things are working out!

But for now, I want to share pics from my 38th year. Let's put that birthday to bed, and move forward. Who knew that life would look drastically different? But that's okay.. even though I don't have what I had then - I think I am probably better off, in the long run. Things are about to change.. and I am ready to make it happen.

February 16, 2010 - turning 38. Here we go:

Here I am, another year old - and just a little wiser.

No doubt - I am fabulous - but there were definitely some hard blows today, and I think I handled them with the greatest of ease.

I spent a great deal of last night preparing all of the food and other goodies for my birthday party today. I realized, as I was hanging my little gold stars and placing my little gold napkins on the table that it is probably not the norm to decorate for your own birthday party. But - I figured (and this has been my philosophy all day) "If you don't celebrate yourself, who will?"

And that's the question of the day - "WHO WILL?"

I got to work and found one birthday card laying on my desk. It was from our SVP, Bruce down in Tampa - and I was so grateful. It even had a cupcake on it! That forced me to change my mood calendar from deprived to chipper. Thanks Bruce. **still no call from the egyptian yet...

My sweet intern came in with one cupcake for me (Devil's food cake) and she made home made Banana Pudding (Paula Dean's recipe.) I was so grateful!

I blew out my candle on my little cupcake (but saved it for later!)

Then the office presented me with a batch of home made snicker doodles. (My favorite cookie!)

Here I am - feeling the love!

Thanks team!

For lunch, Jamie hosted a birthday lunch for me. She made a spinach salad, shepard's pie and yorkshire pudding.

Laura took the pics. We had a great lunch!

Then topped it off with Strawberry cake with strawberry icing. This is the first time I actually ate any of the sweets!

I came home - and as I was putting the finishing touches on my items - I got a text message from my friend from home. She was not coming - which meant our trip to New Orleans was off..

Did I mention my famous cake I have telling you guys about all week?

These were the glasses I bought for our Thelma & Louise trip. Don't worry - I still used them.

Some of the goodies!

Hee hee - I hand wrote the items with a black sharpie. That was the napkin theme!

Sooo.. then I found out my other closest friend could not come.. (Crystal.) The one who lost her step father..

I was bound and determined to not lose my fabulousness...

***ps - still no call from the egyptian

My friends came and I cut that cake with a smile...

I am not bitter...

My friends Jamie and Laura

Patricia and Jamie

Cristina and Julie

Stephanie and I

See - Julie and I used the glasses!

Woot!

My friend Teresa sent me the sweetest package - a book and two notebooks (cocktail napkins) and a fabulous Wonder Woman bag!! I actually had these on my Amazon Wish List!

Julie gave me some yummy goodies

Cristina bought me a gift certificate to Ross Bridge!!

Over all it was great. Sure I was disappointed my friend did not come. She told me by text message that her daughter was diagnosed with mono. What do you say? Or with my friend who had to attend her stepfather's funeral? You don't get the luxury of saying - 'hey - it's my birthday.'

C'est la vie.

I think between my two friends with their "big life" things, that they could not control and my husband not calling - I was almost a basket case. But - my co workers, my friend and my zumba instructor came over and I had a blast. I have to get to sleep now... I have a loooong lonely drive to Pensacola for work.. I am sure I will be doing a lot of thinking... reprioritizing...

**********************************************************

For those of us turning 39 this year, let's make this last one in the decade FANTASTIC.

To credit check or not credit check? That is the question.

2012-02-15T07:39:00.000-06:00

I finally got a job offer!! Can you believe it? Finally, after almost 7 months of resume pushing, interviews, hearing nothing but crickets - there is an offer. However, it's pending a back ground check.

In the past, a background check I would simply laugh about. I do not have a criminal background, not even a speeding ticket (well.. until last year, when I ran that stop sign. Though that's the only one in 20 some odd years!) However, these days, a company will base your potential employment on another factor - Credit.

Now, it is important to know, I am not in debt. Any credit cards I had about 10 years ago, have been cut up and tossed out. Sure, I still owe a little for student loans, and sure I have a car payment - but overall, outside of medical bills, I am not deep in debt. However, I have been unemployed for almost seven months. Unemployment pays me only a teeny, tiny fraction of what I used to make. It's hardly enough to cover my car payment, insurance, and fuel. Forget anything else. It's that sad.

Basically, I have the job - pending my background check. I am afraid, since I have been late on numerous car payments for 6 months, and other bills have just had to sit - AND I broke my lease at my apartment... that this could back fire and put me back at square one.

Oh - and here's another thing, this job is not in my field. It's travel and sales. Well - selling vacation packages. Which lead people to time shares. I love travel and I am passionate about travel, so that's good. Not to mention, I get MASSIVE discounts on resort stays by working for this company. That's a win-win. In 90 days I'll have insurance again, the pay is hourly plus commission - so the sky could be the limit, and the hourly pay is not bad. (It's odd - I'm used to a salary.) If I just did average, I would make 20,000 less than I did at my previous job. Apparently if I am a top producer, I will make some where between what I made at my last job, and 20k more than that. I am not sure how that will work out, or if it is at all for real, as all sales jobs, you are totally being "sold" on the job - but I will wait it out and just see. Not to mention, I get some sales experience in travel.

But the credit check scares me. I have no idea what my credit score is these days. I have no idea how bad NOT working has made everything look. My credit is not bad.... rather.. it's slow these days.

Regardless, I find out either tomorrow or Friday. So, I get a job offer on Valentine's Day and could possibly nail it on my Birthday - NICE! (God... you really have a sense of humor. ;-)

Oh yeah- other obstacle, the job is 30 miles away. Blech. That's driving 60 miles a day just to go to work. It's in North Macon, I live in north Haddock. Kind of a drive, takes about 20 - 40 minutes. Some nights and weekends involved...

Oh.. I don't know.. we'll see. We'll see.

My question to you is - how fair is a credit check for potential employees? I have never seen it as a practice that is ethical, unless of course, you are working in financing or banking.

Especially in this economic shift - should the practice of credit checks be abolished?

Mobile Memories

2012-02-14T12:35:00.002-06:00

Yes, this is my third post of the day - I can't help it. I am stuck to the computer, shooting out resumes and just relaxing.

As I was looking at the background pic on the computer screen, I decided I wanted to change it - and change it to one of my mobile phone photos.

Then I started going through those photos and man.. were there some amazing memories.

Soo.. my Valentine to myself today, will be a pictorial look back at things I love. Memories I made. Times I shared. You know, if we don't have a camera with us, and we think it is important enough to capture with our cell phones - you know it must have meaning. Though many times the photos are fuzzy and waay too candid - the memories, ah.. the memories are for real. Not posed pics usually - just a moment in time captured.

(Hang in there - there are quite a few.. but man.. they mean a lot to me, and I don't typically have them up anywhere else.. and it is a sneak peak into my real life AND you might see yourself!)

Ahhh.. The old days at work. Just me, my laptop, my reduced fat blueberry muffin and caramel macchiato from Starbucks. Oh God.. I never knew how good I had it. (PS - You see a pic of me and the egyptian in Egypt and that little turtle, I bought it in New Orleans back in 2002 from a Guatamalan lady in the French Market. Its little head bobbles. When I was on a conference call, I would tap its little head. Bless its heart.

Krispy Kreme was right up the street from my apartment AND I had to pass it on my way home from work. About once every two months I would stop by, just me - 1 hot glazed donut, and a cup of coffee. Those were my "I love me, let's indulge moments."

Summer in the south. Sometimes you just have to capture the moment.

Ahhh... my little spot on the sofa. I would fix a nice up of coffee in the evening, sit it on my special coaster from Thailand - and over to the left you see my souvenir from Cambodia - a wood replica of the Ankor Wat. My mug I picked up in NY - of course!

Typical brunch for me in Birmingham. I loved my organic fruits and then I would always buy this fabulous yogurt from the arabic store, and mix it with fresh herbs. I miss having my breakfast - my way.

I remember when I FINALLY selected a flower for my VW bug - I took a pic. It was an occassion. I always know it's summer when she dances. The A/C makes her twirl. That first dance always makes me smile.

My old office. Hmmm... mixed feelings on this one..

I remember this moment. Some great friends of mine stopped by on their way back to Georgia (at the time I lived in Alabama..) And I got to spend time with their kids. This moment was priceless.

Who knew this would be the last time I would ever see Jamie. Don't worry - she is fine, she is at Le Cordon Bleu in Austin, Texas. She WILL be the next big thing.

Or what about the time I had my first Krispy Kreme Donut Milk shake at Flip Burger (this gourmet burger boutique in Bham.) The things was smoking!!!!

Or how about my first introduction to Veda Jane? She was less than 24 hours old here...

I'll never forget this duck. OMW - it just bum-rushed me for a BBQ potato chip.

I also remember exposing the egyptian to new things here in America. I miss seeing his curiosity all the time He is totally examing this burger!

A classic for me- Green Chicken Curry. Great Thai recipe. I honestly make the best! (Doesn't hurt that I had a Thai exchange student live with me for one year!)

You can always count on me to drool over my Thai soup and spring roll!

I remember this moment - my sweet inter, Tamika was celebrating her birthday. She was always such an inspiration.. and I celebrated her by buying her a perfect cup cake.

Speaking of cupcakes.. I miss the days I could drop $20 on a box of specialty cupcakes just because...

Everytime I have a caramel macchiato - I think of the afternoons with my english friend - Julie at Starbucks. We would sit at the cafes outside in Vestavia Hills, and just talk about life forever. This very night (I remember well..) we were talking about the Tudor era.. seriously.

This is probably one of the last times I hung out with my friend Telisa and JJ. When I first got to Georgia, I would drive about an hour away and have wings at this great little place in Warner Robins. Haven't seen her in a while...

Or this moment - Having Kim Chee and Yaki Mandu with my friend Kaprial at a little Korean dive.

Or getting reunited with my vampire cat - Lestat. He likes to pose for me.

Or what about a true middle eastern appetizer... yumm...

Or heading to my old dance studio in Birmingham to meet up with my instructor for coffee afterwards...

Let's talk about the incredible tabouli I would consume on a weekly basis!

Or just some random moment a friend caught of me at a restaurant with them

Here is a pic I took on my phone of Autumn, my niece. I used instagram to do the cool frame.. don't remember where we were.. though, afriad to say, clearly we just ate (yes.. food in her teeth.) hahaha..

The famous wing dinner nights with Telisa

Capturing that moment at dusk at a small town fair.

Or the perfect middle eastern dinner for me...

You can never have enough Turkish coffee or baklava

Or spending time with my friend Teresa at the event she organized each year - Fiesta!

Taking this tiny tiger to class...

Another photo I took with my phone an with instagram for the frame.. me driving back and forth from Georgia.

My english (NOW AMERICAN CITIZEN!! YAY!) friend, Julie and I at my going away party.

Open faced lamb gyro... always something I crave...

A fried pickle moment!!

Making salt-dough ornaments with Autumn.

Friday night dinners with Lisa & Leslie

Baby Lestat laying near me...

Capturing this moment - relaxing on the beach, sitting in a gazebo - on Tybee Island, overlooking the Atlantic Ocean on Jan. 1st, 2012

Catching up with my dear friend, Tonya, for almost 3 hours over iced coffee before we went on a road trip.

Me... just catching a pic of myself....

Recent pic- I did a last trip to Birmingham about a month ago, and caught up with my dear friend Laura and Veda Jane!! She has grown!!!

eating pumpkin pie at the diner with my friend Lisa. We meet about once a week for coffee and well.. sometimes pie.

I took a day trip to my college town of Milledgeville, Georgia.. my old stomping grounds..

Playing with Autumn on the playground at Mickey D's - you just don't get moments like this very often!

Watching my mom create.. and watching Lestat.. watching me..

Twilight marathon with Leslie & Lisa ..

Halloween this past year... I thought my make up came out pretty darn good...

I recently found a shamrock at the park. I saw it as a good sign! (Like my sparkly nail polish??)

Nothing says lunch with the egyptian like falafel and hummus...

Just perusing the barrels of candy...

Taking a break on River Street to take a pic with my friend Lisa...

Sitting at the Huddle House with Autumn - just a Auntie Cole and niece breakfast.

Waking up to this on Christmas morning.

Night out with my friend Lisa..

Driving back to Georgia.. knowing.. I would probably never be in Birmingham again!

Autumn aring her sparring techniques.. Moments like this you never get back!

My friend Lisa caught this pic of me when I was relaxing on the roof of The Bohemian in Savannah earlier this year. Now.. this was from her phone.. but I think it captured.. a .. oh.. hopeful moment.

Back in Birmingham for a feast with my friend Tamika. Nothing like a BIG breakfast.

It's a little fuzzy - but I snapped this on the beach in Tybee Island.

The sunset on the first day of 2012 - in Savannah.

I think I was in the car with the egyptian when this one was snapped... about a month ago.

I took this one Sunday night. She fell asleep on my lap.

Finally - my best little bud.. tangled in cords and apparently playing with a gum wrapper..

Happy Valentine's Day. LOVE your life moments.

REWIND - Valentine's Day 2010

2012-02-14T09:52:00.000-06:00

I just finished reading past Valentine's Day posts. I really like the one from 2010 - and want to share it with you now -

Enjoy!

How many time have you loved and swore you would never love again?

Do you remember your first kiss?

How many promises did we make to love one another for ever and ever ~ and yet one day that love just dissolved?

It is Valentine's Day. High pressure to find yourself saturated in L'amour.

Historically, Valentine's Day is an annual holiday held on February 14 celebrating love and affection between intimate companions. The holiday is named after one or more early Christian martyrs named Valentine and was established by Pope Gelasius I in AD 496. It is traditionally a day on which lovers express their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering candy, and sending greeting cards (known as "valentines").

The holiday first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished. (See gentlemen, you have Chaucer to blame for the pressure!) Drat, that Chaucer!

Apparently the "love" portion can be found in Chaucer's Parlement of Foules (1382).
Chaucer wrote:
For this was on seynt Volantynys day
Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make.

["For this was Saint Valentine's Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate."]

There you have it. A Day to choose your Mate. WOWza.

Using the language of the law courts for the rituals of courtly love, a "High Court of Love" was established in Paris on Valentine's Day in 1400.
(Of course - the FRENCH)
According to Wikipedia, the court dealt with love contracts, betrayals, and violence against women. Judges were selected by women on the basis of a poetry reading. (How cool is that?)

I discovered that the earliest surviving valentine is a fifteenth-century rondeau written by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his wife, which commences.

Je suis desja d'amour tannéMa tres doulce Valentinée…
—Charles d'Orléans , Rondeau VI, lines 1–2
At the time, the duke was being held in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt, 1415.

Another piece I found Valentine's Day mentioned is done ruefully by Ophelia in Hamlet (1600-1601):

To-morrow is Saint Valentine's day,
All in the morning betime,
And I a maid at your window,
To be your Valentine.
Then up he rose, and donn'd his clothes,
And dupp'd the chamber-door;
Let in the maid, that out a maid
Never departed more.
—William Shakespeare , Hamlet, Act IV, Scene 5 - oh that Billy sure knew a thing or two about melodrama.

But what about more modern times? I know that most of the books I have one Love Poetry, and other truly divine works were all quite old. When did the whole need for a Valentine's Day card become essential? Wouldn't the card be considered the poetry of today?

I did a little research and found that.. and if you consider this more modern (heck, compared to the middle ages, it was) - in 1797, a British publisher issued The Young Man’s Valentine Writer, which contained scores of suggested sentimental verses for the young lover unable to compose his own.

Printers had already begun producing a limited number of cards with verses and sketches, called “mechanical valentines,” and a reduction in postal rates in the next century ushered in the less personal but easier practice of mailing valentines. That, in turn, made it possible for the first time to exchange cards anonymously, which is taken as the reason for the sudden appearance of racy verse in an era otherwise prudishly Victorian. OH HOW I LOVE A GOOD SCANDAL!

Paper Valentines being so popular in England in the early 1800s, Valentines began to be assembled in factories. Fancy Valentines were made with real lace and ribbons, with paper lace introduced in the mid 1800's. Right below and to the right is an example of the lace and ribbon Valentine.

The reinvention of Saint Valentine's Day in the 1840s has been traced by Leigh Eric Schmidt. As a writer in Graham's American Monthly observed in 1849, "Saint Valentine's Day... is becoming, nay it has become, a national holyday." In the United States, the first mass-produced valentines of embossed paper lace were produced and sold shortly after 1847 by Esther Howland (1828-1904) of Worcester, Massachusetts.

This pic here is an Ester Howland.

Since the 19th century, handwritten notes have largely given way to mass-produced greeting cards.

In the second half of the twentieth century, the practice of exchanging cards was extended to all manner of gifts in the United States, usually from a man to a woman.

Such gifts typically include roses and chocolates packed in a red satin, heart-shaped box.

In the 1980s, the diamond industry began to promote Valentine's Day as an occasion for giving jewelry. The day has come to be associated with a generic platonic greeting of "Happy Valentine's Day."

As a joke, Valentine's Day is also referred to as "Singles Awareness Day."

In some North American elementary schools, children decorate classrooms, exchange cards, and eat sweets. The greeting cards of these students sometimes mention what they appreciate about each other.

The rise of Internet popularity at the turn of the millennium is creating new traditions. Millions of people use, every year, digital means of creating and sending Valentine's Day greeting messages such as e-cards, love coupons or printable greeting cards.

I remember one Valentines Day in particular, and I want to say it was 5th grade. I got a box of "chocolate scented" Valentine's Day cards with these stickers. Only a few of the stickers were scented, and I made sure to give the cutest boys the ones with the scented stickers. It was sooo much fun to decorate our little brown paper bags with the "paper lace" heart and staple it to the bulletin board. At the end of the day, our little bag would be bursting with Valentines. I have a hope chest (well - a trunk I bought) and I still have some of those Valentines.

In high school, I was consistent with my Valentine. I dated the same boy for two years. I received a HUGE panda and a balloon bouquet and flowers. It was very important to get these items delivered to school. Because the ability to parade down the halls with all of this admiration was a signal to everyone how much you are adored. How horrible it would have been to not have my parade of balloons. ;-)

In college, people are bit more broke. Again, I dated another guy for many years. (Serial monogamer with possibly 3 stents in my entire life of singledom - and I assure you, I had fun!) I can't remember anything in particular on Valentine's Day. Probably a special themed party at a local bar.

As an adult - I have been married twice. Ah yes, cupid's arrow decided to give me her vicious little wounds. My first husband was quite the charmer. He showed up one day, while I was working as a News Producer at a Television Station, dressed in a tux (he owned) with 200 white roses (my favorite) and he painted a picture of the Bird Girl from Savannah and placed 26 little yellow daisies on the ground in the painting. (My birthday is 2 days after Valentine's Day - sooo apparently that year I was turning 26.) Granted - 8 years later, we were finished - but the effort, or his effort did not go unnoticed.

My current Valentine - has got to be the LOVE OF MY LIFE. Ooooh... l'amour. How painful and dramatic and ... *sigh*...

This man embodies everything I EVER wanted in a man. He is tall, he is "dark" and obviously in my opinion - he is handsome. He has very high morals. He is very intelligent - speaks 3 languages and is over-educated! Ha! He is well traveled, is a writer... he loves music. He is strong...

I guess just having him in the country with me should be enough for Valentine's Day. Since, he does not celebrate this little tradition - it may have to be enough. So I awake on this day of love - and find no flowers, no cards, no breakfast in bed.

But I have one thing - this is the man I love. Beats all of those dead flowers and artery clogging chocolates any day.

No one is immune

2012-02-14T09:12:00.002-06:00

Today just happens to be one of my favorite holidays. As a kid, if you had asked me what my favorite day was, I would always say St. Valentine's Day. Hard to believe it trumped Christmas, but in my mind it did.

Perhaps it was the over flow of pink, heart shaped candies I would receive, or the cute little paper cut-out Valentine's with my little friend's asking me to "Be Mine" that sort of sealed the deal.

I suppose at the end of the day, there was something appealing about someone, some where, wanting you to be in their life, and publicly tells the world, "Hey, You - yeah, you - Will you be my sweet heart? At least for today."

For someone who is not the most emotional around family and friends, I am a sucker for love. Always have been. However, it wasn't until I met my egyptian that I fell head over heels in love.

The quote above is perfect to describe how I feel about Mr. egyptian. I am incredibly attracted to him, and I love most things about him. Sure, let's get real for a minute, this past year or so has been TOUGH.

I did not like how we fought, and oh man, did we fight hard. I did not like how he was so demanding. I did not like how he put a lot of pressure on me to be the perfect wife, nor did I like him gallivanting all other America trying to find the perfect city for us to live in. Those items I would like to just erase from my memory forever.

But like all love affairs, ours had its ups and downs. When we first found one another, and oh yes, my dears, it was online. I swear. And not a dating service either. We flirted back and forth for months. Finally, as our friendship grew from emails, wall messages, and hours of chat - we ended up calling each other on the phone, and attempting video chat, and finally making plans to meet in person.

One year after our friendship/online love affair began, I flew to Egypt and let God handle the rest. Perhaps it was the vibrant colors of the Egyptian people set upon that desert contrast, maybe it was the music and twinkle lights that covered the streets at night - but whatever it was, it BEWITCHED ME. I was in love.

Fast forward, and longing and stress entered our lives. We spent one year and a half waiting for the American government to grant my love access to our country. We had to get permission from Homeland Security to get married. Seriously. Finally in May of 2009, he arrived.

Ahh.. love! Happiness, reuniting, exposing him to a whole new world - for about 6 months we were in bliss! Then real life hit- and it hit hard. The stress of him being unable to work, or drive, and having very few friends put a damper on our love. We were tested. Boy, did we fail.

We fought, though we'd make up. But it was constant. Finally, he was homesick, and flew home for 6 six weeks in the winter of 2010, only to return more in love, and more willing to be my perfect husband.

Then life smacked us again. He hated Birmingham and wanted nothing more than to move to NYC. He was going to give it a try, and once he got situated, would call me to join him. 6 weeks later, he packed his bags and headed back to me. Back to love, back to trying. Lord, did he try. Then stress re entered our life. A shift in independence. No longer was he attached to me at the hip, and it was jarring. He did not need me as much, and it felt both freeing and lonely. He had a car, he had a job, he had friends, he was trying his best to establish himself. Then BOOM - I lost my job, our money ticket.

That just about broke us. Financially and emotionally. After two months of struggling, I moved home. We lost the apartment, our stuff was in storage, and he was renting a room from his boss - just to keep the little job he had, to help us cover the expenses of our cell phones, etc. I needed a break from the fighting, the stress of money, and had no other choice.

It's been 4 months since I returned home. This past Christmas, the egyptian and I spent hours talking, and making sense of our journey. There were apologies, and promises and hope for tomorrow. We made an agreement - a last shot, if you will. He wanted to check out the west coast. He spent some time in San Fran, and now is visiting his uncle in Los Angeles. I did spend another fantastic week in Birmingham with him in January. We bonded again. It was my egyptian from Egypt, my friend from the first six months of our marriage. We are whole again.. and what a long, strange trip it has been.

Since 2007, I have called my egyptian my Valentine. This year is no different. I love him very much, and I am looking forward to the day we can balance the power, the time, the distance... I am looking forward to a promise of a better day.

Not a single one of us are immune to love - real love - real problems - real life. My love story is not perfect, since it has a dash of drama, but hindsight is 20/20. I see what happened, why it happened and have moved on. No, I won't make excuses for our actions and behavior - but we have healed. It's a good thing.

But my story is my favorite love story, and isn't that what finding the perfect Valentine is all about?

Happy Valentine's Day. I wish each of you love!

PS - Participating in the "It's Getting Hot in Here" Blog Hop. Challenge was to write about your steamiest kiss. Sorry ladies, a good old love story will have to do. But do know this - every time I kiss my egyptian - there are sparks!

Blog Hop

My Loves

2012-02-13T10:58:00.001-06:00

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

That is one of those profound statements that make me treasure the individual in all of us. When I sit and ponder what that actually means, I see pictures in my head of people who have absolutely no concept of how to just be themselves. These people follow a strict set of guidelines and rules, and never, ever color outside of the lines.

These people I have a hard time relating to.

There is someone I worked with that was textbook - follow a text book, if you know what I mean? If it was not in Public Relations theory book, or did not have statistical information to back it up, it was not an option. She reminded me of the kid who just loved word problems or showing the teacher how she worked out the algebraic equation.

In other words- the absolute polar opposite of me.

Maybe that's her comfort zone, maybe being a rule follower, and non risk taker is her M.O. Maybe I should respect that. Though knowing what I learned from her for almost 5 years, I could honestly tell you nothing about her. She wore drab suits, hardly any make up, never talked about hobbies... just blah. She actually seemed to get excited over strategic planning.

But every one has something they are into, right?? We all have our little wants, needs, preferences, colors that make our hearts skip a beat - right?? I am not alone in this, I hope. If so, I must be the biggest freak in the world, and maybe I am...

I got to thinking about preferences this morning. It was inspired by some friends of mine teasing me about having male strippers over on a Friday night. Yes, it was a joke- and I was teasing back saying I would prefer a poetry reading LOL Yes, intellectual stimulation is always a plus in my book.

With this blog post, I am going to list out my preferences - more so for me, to understand what it is I really enjoy. At 38 (well.. for 3 more days,) my tastes have changed over the years, as well as my wants and needs. So for fun, I will make a "vision" list - just for me to record and check back on, perhaps in a year or six months or so.

Here we go:

1. I love the color light blue. Almost the color of the sea or the sky. I like to wear it, I like to see it. I would like a bathroom with this color. I want more light blue in my life.

2. I love cucumbers, tahini, croissants, coffee, greek yogurt, orzo, olive oil, chicken wings, fried egg plant, goat cheese, coffee/espresso, green tea, bagels with cream cheese, corned beef hash, tacos, guacamole, cheesy pizza, fondue, strawberries, green chicken curry, fettuccine alfredo, balsamic vinegar, coconut, lime, Diet Coke with lime, watermelon, mac & cheese, and mashed potatoes. If this is all I could eat for the rest of my life - I would be happy.

3. My absolute favorite places to eat- Polly's La Mesa (Tex mex dive in Macon,) NuWay (Hot dog stand in Macon,) Papouli's (Greek Cafe in Macon,) Flip Burger (gourmet burger place in Bham,) Iguana Grill (fabulous Mexican place in Bham,) The Casbah (Moroccan Restaurant in Savannah,) Bernie's on River Street (Oyster Bar in Savannah,) The Rookery (bar in Macon that has the best beer battered fries!) The Silver Dollar (Indian in Bham,)- Nothing fancy - just YUM!

4. If I have to choose fast food or chain restaurants I would pick - Sonic, Krystal, Zaxby's, Arby's, Pizza Hut, Papa John's, Chili's, Charley's, Applebees, and Popeye's.

5. My favorite types of food: Mediterranean/Middle Eastern, Mexican/Tex-Mex, Italian, Wings, Jamaican/Caribbean, Indian, Thai.
6. As for jewelry - I am drawn to pearls first and foremost. Always loved the aquamarine stone. Diamonds are a given - no fad diamond either, just straight, crystal clear. I love cameos, and anything heart shaped. Sapphires are a winner with me.

7. Music - If I am just picking something to chill/lax to it will probably be something middle eastern. When I am driving - mainly dance music. Something pop-like. I do LOVE rock, and will listen on occasion. But I cannot listen to one type of music the entire time, I need to mix the genres up. If I had to pick my absolute favorite voices: John Legend, George Michael, Bruno Mars, Adele, Lenny Kravitz, etc. I love 70s and 80s music. I might surprise you with choices like - Rage Against the Machine, Green Day, even old Kenny Rogers. I am just all over the place. I rarely listen to the radio, unless it is NPR - and always have my ipod plugged in. Don't worry - I keep up with what is new by watching Vh1's top 20 count down. If something works for me, I download it.

8. I love anything Audrey Hepburn (huge fan of Breakfast at Tiffany's and Roman Holiday,) come to think of it - I love the actual store, Tiffany's. Ahh.. classic. I am a huge fan of Michael Kors and DKNY. I love D&G, and Chanel. Loubutin shoes make me gasp a little (in a good way.) I am drawn to a more classic, feminine style as well as bohemian.

9. I think Jude Law, Henry Cavill, Jared Leto, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Ian Somerhalder are some of the most gorgeous actors around.

10. I choose beach over mountains. International travel over domestic. Exotic over European. Wine over beer. Veg over Meat. Reading over TV. Book store and coffee shops over clothes shopping and furniture shopping.

11. I am not overly patriotic. I see America's blemishes. Though, I am glad I was born here. I don't like flip flops or anything that is super sloppy. About as casual as I will get is yoga pants and a t shirt. I would pick a skirt over jeans any day. I like heels over flats. I would pick color to wear over neutrals. I never leave the house without mascara and lipstick.

12. I do not lay out, nor will I ever. I don't fake tan. I embrace my fair skin and make it work for me. I am all about waxing your eyebrows, and I get a little freaked out when people don't. I believe in facials and massages. However, I shy away from manicures and pedicures due to the risk of fungal infections from unclean salons and instruments.

13. I choose organic, clean food (cruelty free,) over processed food. I would shop only at farmer's markets, if I can get everything I need there. I will shop at locally owned shops before I hit the super market.

14. I don't think I could ever go vegan completely, though I do enjoy a few recipes. I could never be a complete vegetarian, because I actually do like meat. Though I am not a fan of hunting, I am for cruelty free slaughtering (yes.. there are ways, even though death of any animal is difficult to imagine.) I prefer meat that was slaughtered in Kosher or Halal ways. I prefer my chickens to be free range. I will not eat Tyson chicken products (knowingly) or from KFC. There are plenty of documentaries to show you why.

15. I like experimenting with spices. I love to grow herbs. I like gardening in containers. I like bird watching. I like the idea of recycling, and wish it were more readily available in communities. I will buy organic and chemical free if there is an option. I enjoy nature hikes and camping.

16. I love spirituality. I love meditation. I love prayer, specifically centering prayer. I like spiritual retreats. I like lighting candles. I love vespers. I am Catholic, but I love the principles and teachings of Buddhists and Taoist (for living.) I am on the fence about ghosts. Love the idea of vampires, but I realize that's just crazy. ;-)

17. I am passionate about Human Rights. I wish above all wishes I could do some work with Amnesty International - outside of just writing letters. I want to join the Peace Corps, but I am waiting or the egyptian to get his citizenship, so we can do it together. I am going to apply to the United Nations, as a public affairs officer. DREAM. JOB.

18. I want a really good camera. I want to take a class in photography. I want some photo editing software. I want a Mac to make it all happen. I want to take photos (professionally) on the side. Perfect job of all time - Travel, write about it, take photos of it, sell it. Oh Anthony Bourdain, outside of eating weird things, you have my dream job!

19. I don't ever care to be rich. Was never a priority. I want experiences, and unfortunately, they require money. I want to travel to soooo many places. Follow my Destination Unknown Facebook Fan Page, and each day, I share an adventure I want to experience. God willing, it will happen one day.

20. Finally - I am obsessed with writing. Not fictional writing, just sharing my ideas. Yes, I am a terrible speller and yes, I do NOT proof read, which means you catch all of the typos, and double words, etc. I am constantly reading: I love Anne Rice & Greg Iles - two of my favorite modern day authors. The classics are always a great option.

What about you, what do you PREFER?

PS - I'm linking up!:

Might As Well

2012-02-12T09:13:00.000-06:00

"Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain." ~Author Unknown

I woke up this morning to a screaming 5 year old wanting to go outside. My sister, her mom, was reminding her she needed to pick up her toys, eat breakfast and put on a change of clothes. Even though this was not my favorite way to wake up - I am in a decent mood.

I poured a cup of coffee, then I sat down at the computer in my parent's room. Filed unemployment online, checked my FB, scanned pinterest for inspiration, then found myself back here. As I was scanning sites, and all the while keeping the memory of Whitney Houston in the back of my mind (man - what a waste!) I kept thinking about life and just how short it is.

Not in a morbid, getting up on the wrong side of the bed way, but just how we need to just grab life and try our best to find a little joy in each day. I thought of Whitney's family and their loss. I thought of the record industry's loss. I thought of our loss.

I thought about how I feel like I have been ever-so-slightly depressed the pass 6 months, and how I get these little peaks of happy, only to come crashing down into sadness.

Then I saw this little bird, and he/she made me smile. This is how we should approach life. Ready with our little spring bonnet on, wearing our brightest colors and just going for it.

As I was pondering all of these things and trying to figure out what to write about this morning, I realized I was feeling positive. Was it the interview I had last week? (Which, btw, went fine.) Was it the text message I got from the egyptian that was ever-so-slightly flirty? Was it the caffeine? Was it because I ate carbs last night? Was it because I went to bed, all snuggled up with Autumn, after watching Breaking Dawn Part 1 on Pay for View?

Then it hit me - It's my birthday week.

Typically I am in full mode of "what am I going to do on my birthday weekend?" But my circumstances have changed and well... there are no official plans for my birthday. It will be a first for me. Usually, I am like - "I don't need people to celebrate me - I will celebrate me," and I will actually throw myself a party. No shame in my game. I like me... and well, I want to share my life with you!

But this year is different. I don't have any money. I don't have my own space. My love is on the west coast. Sooo...

But I am happy all the same. I LOVE holidays and celebrations and any reason to celebrate life. I WANT to celebrate my life, and I have every right to.

I do have two tickets to the symphony on Saturday. I invited a friend that lives nearby, not sure if she is still coming, but I have decided if she does not confirm, I will take my niece as my date.

Also, I plan to look at the last year in a decade (for me) as an opportunity to keep the MOMENTUM and continue doing the good habits I have picked up in my 30s... like...

(And yes, TV from TV's Take - you are right!!) And I will also try to get back to my organic, clean eating..
I need to take my spiritually more seriously, and I want to pick up the meditation exercises I learned in college and reintroduce them into my life.

It's just a typical week for most of you, but for me - it's one of those life changing weeks. Whether I like it or not - my life is about to cross another threshold and I will be rounding out a decade.

Though things seem to be at a stand still.. I must still have some purpose. Life is simply too short - again, as I look at the Houston situation (dying at 48,) you just never know when your number is up.

So.. I will enjoy life now.

Might as well - nothing else going on! ;-)

I got 99 Problems...

2012-02-11T08:45:00.001-06:00

As I was scanning Pinterest this morning, (on 5 hours sleep.. oh yeah...,) I was looking through my favorite quotes on my 'Preach It' board. I ran across this one - the short people problem quote. As soon as I read it, Jay Z's song - 99 Problems started running through my head.

I guess in my sleepy stupor and lack of any good quality ideas to write about, it sort of came to me to write about the problems of short people.

Oh Yeah - I'm going there.

1. A kitchen is a war zone. When you are under 5'2, any cabinet that is at the top, and could possibly contain plastic wear, suddenly becomes a sky with bombs falling from it. Imagine standing on your tip toes, opening the cabinet, when suddenly plastic items come crashing down smacking you in the face. I have learned to always tuck my head when opening a top cabinet.

2. Grocery shopping is better than Yoga. Typically the items I need are on the top shelf. The top shelf IS NOT within my reach. I suddenly become Stretch Armstrong as I go for that box of Suddenly Salad.

3. Dismounting a bike is like playing hot potato. 24 inches is too short, and 26 inches is too tall. Most adults own a 26 inch bike. Once I get on it, I have to keep going. When it is time to stop, I put on the brakes and suddenly jump off, as if I am on a gymnastics balancing board that is scolding hot, and then I just pray I land on my own two feet, typically with the bike between my legs.

4. Becoming an elbow rest. I have tall friends that will stand next to me and prop their elbow/arm on my head. They think it's funny.

5. Pants are continuously frayed. Sooo.. I don't sew very well, actually - hardly at all. It is hard to find petite pants, especially when you are a little on the chubby side. ;-) Most of my pants are about 3 inches too long - hence the reason I typically wear heels.

6. I gain one pound, and it looks like 10. My actual weight on one of my 5'10 friends would look great. At my height, it makes me look like an oompa loompa.

7. Movie theaters are tricky. It never fails, the tallest person in the entire theater will always choose to sit in front of me. I am always thrilled to go to the stadium seating theaters.

8. Concerts suck. Before a concert begins, everything seems fine and dandy. Once the main act comes on stage, everyone bolts to their feet - then my $75 tickets becomes an opportunity to listen to music. Something I could have done at home, with my radio, for free.

9. Walking is an aerobic sport. If I go to the mall with friends, for each of my friend's one stride - I have to take two steps, just to keep up.

10. Risking life and limb on a daily basis. A basic wood chair is my best friend. I use them for so many things. Climbing atop one will not be easy in 40 years.

Dear God...

2012-02-10T08:27:00.001-06:00

Dear God,

It's Friday, and another week has passed. Today I have an interview at 1:15pm, for a job I am only slightly interested in. No, it's not in my field, and no it does not require an advanced degree. Nor will it use my skills and contacts - but it's a job.

I am trying very hard to be patient. To trust in your timing. To be positive and enthusiastic about.. well.. anything, to be perfectly honest with you.

I had a long talk with the egyptian last night - our plan is still in motion. It will either be the east coast or the west coast, pending who gets the bigger salary. So what I am supposed to do? Keep applying to jobs around here, knowing good and well that even if I found something similar to what I typically do, the salary will never be there. It's middle Georgia.. the cost of living is much lower than larger metropolitan areas. Or do I continue to shoot my resume off to places like D.C., NY, Chicago, Seattle, LA, etc - just hoping someone will look past the address and take a chance.

I just wish things were a little easier. That's all. I feel as if I am wasting precious time.

I want to thank you for this opportunity with Autumn. It's been a blessing to get to know her better. Just last night, she snuggled up to me, with her hair still wet from her night time bath, and just snoozed away while I watched American Idol. Granted, I am not one to "snuggle," I realize these days are limited by how fast the years will fly by - and whether or not I will be in driving distance ever again.

My Lord, I miss the egyptian. It's lonely without him. I feel like I am separated, but I am not. It's hard to maintain a relationship when all you get are a few minutes by phone every day. That part I will never understand. If we weren't supposed to be together - then you would make that so. It's just sooo confusing.
I am so glad he is getting this opportunity to spend time with family on the west coast. His uncle is showing him around, helping him make contacts - something amazing could come out of this for us. That would be a BRIGHT blessing. I have several friends in Los Angeles, so I am comfortable with moving there. If it is your will..

As for the rest of things, my birthday is just one week away. My life looks completely different from this time last year. Completely different. I had no idea that year 38 would end up being full of trials. That my life would flip upside down, and not in a good way. Is it punishment for something I have done? I have asked for forgiveness on numerous occasions...

Is it a strengthening period? A humility period? A tear my life apart and rebuild period?

The answers just don't seem to be coming. I feel as if I am sinking into a black hole.. some abyss where everything I have worked for my entire life is just slowly sinking away.

I had another dream last night. This one was not a happy one, and it dealt with water again. This time there was a whirlpool of sorts in the middle of a bay. All of my things, and people I loved were slowly being sucked into this pool. There was this evil man (I could not make out his face) that was sneering, or what appeared to be sneering to me. He kept laughing at me, as I cried and begged for him to make it stop. He said, "No one can help you now."

I woke up sweating, breathing very hard. I was actually frightened in this dream.

I don't know what to do anymore. I have totally given up control. I have put my entire trust in you. But all I hear is silence.

Everyone wants me to be positive, and hopeful, and keeping pushing forward. My back is weak. My shoulders are heavy.

I. Just. Don't. Care. Anymore.

You have got to help me. This is going on way too long.

If I am to trust in your timing, but hear nothing but crickets.... where is the justice in that?

Nuggets of Truths

2012-02-09T10:35:00.002-06:00

When I was 18, and had graduated from high school, I would have given anything for someone to share the following "nuggets" of advice with me.

Though, I am almost certain that I would have totally ignored the advice, because, well.. I knew better. You know?

Here is a little bit of Nicole Advice, and for my younger readers - take it to heart. Seriously. ;-)

1. Fake it till you make it. I am SERIOUS about this one. I am not saying you need to go out there and be a fake - what I mean is, if you want to be something, then behave "as if" you have achieved that goal. Somehow, your brain simply can't tell the difference. I find that life will sort of unfold accordingly.

2. Trust yourself. You know if something feels right or wrong. Though, I like to believe I got my little list of morals from church, I know many people who are non believers that know right from wrong. Just listen to your intuition and make decisions accordingly.

3. Add a dash of forethought and a dash of spontaneity. There is nothing worse than an over planner. Or someone who is so spontaneous you cannot count on them to do anything you might have otherwise planned. I think striking a balance between the two is a great happy medium. Don't be so rigid that you can't color outside the lines. Sometimes, that's necessary. Though, don't be so lax, that you are completely unreliable.

4. Pay your bills first. OMG... why did I always do what I wanted first, then try to pay my bills with what is left over next? Deep - deep in debt at a young age. So not worth it. Pay your bills first. It will open up a HUGE opportunity for more treasure later on.

5. Travel. You have got to see as much of the world as you possibly can. If you never leave your bubble, you will remain in your fish bowl forever. Expose your self to as many kinds of thought, culture, and world views as possible. You don't have to change your way of thinking, but you need to understand WHY people do what they do. If you can do that - every thing else will come so easily.

6. Read. If you don't read good books, you have no advantage over the person that never reads at all. Pick up some classics, grab some best sellers, go into the non fiction aisle - just read. People who tell me they don't read scare me. Their understanding of the world, and their imagination must be incredibly limited.

7. Listen. I will admit, I am a talker, I love to talk. But the most important tool you can ever have in your back pocket, is the ability to listen. Don't wait to speak. People can tell. Listen and process what the other person is saying.

8. Enunciate. Don't have a mush mouth. Learning to be a great communicator is the single best talent a person can have.

9. Be passionate. If you are so apathetic to everything going on around you, what purpose do you have? Expose yourself, and God or the universe will reveal your passions to you. Pursue those passions with the zeal of a child in a candy store!

10. Be kind to animals. People who are not nice to animals, are not nice people.

11. Fight for the rights of ALL people. If there is one golden rule I think we should all follow - it's for people to actually give a damn for other people. ALL people. Even the people who would like to disrupt your world. *Example - go to Amnesty International.

12. Remember everyone is fighting some sort of battle. Don't be mean. Even the angry cashier at Walmart... she might be having a really bad day, just try to be understanding. That does not mean you take some one's sh*t - but offer some kindness, it might just be the highlight of that person's day.

13. Be curious, not judgmental.

14. Explain, don't complain. I think of this every time an employer in an interview asks me why I am no longer with my former company. The hurt kid in me wants to tell them what a crappy place it was to work, etc. But instead, I explain what happened - and that sometimes, that's just how some places deal with different issues. It's a tough pill to swallow, but one I do on a weekly basis.

15. Be smart when it comes to drugs and sex. That means - don't do drugs. EVER. Seriously - especially the hard stuff. (Yes, I am actually for the legalization of marijuana, no I do not smoke.) When it comes to sex - wait until you are an adult, use condoms, and preferably, wait for that special someone.(Marriage is always a good idea to hold out for also. Call me old fashioned, but it could be a beautiful thing.)

16. Get an education. Any education will do. Definitely finish high school. Preferably attend a technical school or college. Learn a trade. Gain a skill. If it is as hard as it is right now to find a job, and I am educated and have experience, what chance does a high school drop out have?

17. Don't be afraid. That's my biggest thing. Try so hard to take some calculated risks as far as career, relationships, etc go. Just go for it. Don't worry, no one died of a broken heart.

18. Treat others as you wish to be treated. Text book rule.

19. Invest your energy into activities, people, and ideas that improve your lot in life. Don't waste your energy on the negative stuff. It's not worth it.

20. Life was meant to be lived. Don't hide. Don't feel inferior. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Don't let money stop you, where there is a will, there is a way. If you wake up in the morning, and your heart is still beating, you have a purpose for that day. Be grateful.

What would you add to this list?

Set (para) sail for the world

2012-02-08T12:15:00.000-06:00

I try to escape it, but it is a recurring theme - TRAVEL.

I need to take risks, and go have a little adventure. It's half the reason I am obsessed with the Peace Corps - I want to travel and I want to do good. I want to write about it and I want to capture the moments.

We all have something we are a little passionate about, and mine just happens to be 'EXPERIENCING' life. For someone who suffers from Panic Disorder, and can have a panic attack by just walking into a room, it might blow your mind to know that I LONG to be free and just really LIVE life. Which is why it feels like hell, for your mind to sometimes try to control you. I think that's why I am able to experience life without meds, or anything of that sort- because I will NOT let that control me.

I think back to the time I flew to the middle east by myself. Crazy idea. But I did it, and ended up living/staying with people from a completely different culture, speaking a completely different language - and I lived, not to mention, I loved.

I often wonder what all I would see and do if I honestly had the resources. I can assure you - I take advantage of any opportunity I can in order to travel and experience the world. Often times money or time would get in the way. But if there is a will there is a way - and I did everything I could to make it happen.

I've done fun things like swim with the manatee in Florida. I'm not talking about some little swimming pool in a controlled environment - I mean, put on a wet suit, grab a snorkel and head through the springs. I have gone tubing, I have been on high ropes courses and used a zip line, I used to go hiking, camping - sleeping atop mountains with no tent, only a fire to keep me warm. I back packed the entire Pine Mountain (26 miles in 2 three days, 2 nights) carrying only one change of clothes, food and a pup tent. I LOVE adventure.

I am starting to get that spirit back. Something about being out here in the woods, so to speak, and researching "day trips," has got me in the mood to do something wild!

I recently discovered something I HAVE to try. I bet I could talk the egyptian to doing this one day - It's called parahawking. That's right - para-HAWKING, and you can do this in Nepal! What an amazing experience.

If you did not already know, I am obsessed with birds - or anything that flies. When you really think about it, how freaking cool is that? If I was ever to come back as a different being, I would choose a bird - possibly a sea gull, since I love the beach.

Anyway -

There is great opportunity to go parahawking in different parts of the world. I choose Nepal, because it happens to be a country I have always wanted to travel to. I found this amazing website, called Parahawking - yes, that simple. According to the website, Parahawking is a fusion between Falconry and Paragliding. Falconry is a huntung sport where birds of prey are trained to hunt prey. Parahawking is different, their birds of prey are trained to fly with Paragliders and to guide them to the thermals. Parahawking also gives you a unique opportunity to interact with birds of prey in their own environment.

Birds of prey have a natural instinct to conserve energy wherever and whenever possible. During a flight, a bird will burn more energy than it would if it was just sitting in a tree, this means it has to eat to replace the used energy. Sometimes birds will travel long distances to find food. To conserve energy while flying, birds of prey use thermals. Thermals are rising currents of warm air that are created by the sun heating the ground. Birds can gain height and travel long distances without flapping their wings by using thermals. Paragliders also use thermals when they are flying and will often use wild birds to guide them to where the thermals are. Their trained birds are no different, they will find the thermals in order to stay aloft and conserve energy while flying. Paragliders harness their ability to conserve energy by following them as they fly.
*source Parahawking.com

This companie's birds need to be rewarded for guiding people into the thermals. During the flight the passenger will place small morsels of meat onto his gloved hand, the birds will come and gently land on the hand to take the food, and then gracefully fly away to find the next thermal. A perfect symbiotic relationship.

My main question was how does this do good? What's the idea around Vulture Conservation? According to Parahawking.com - Asia's vultures are in serious decline, in the last 15 years the numbers have dropped by a staggering 99.9% which equates to a loss of approx 40 million birds. This catastrophic decline is due to a veterinary drug called Diclofenac. This anti inflammatory drug is routinely administered to sick and dying livestock including cows and buffalo and has proven to be very effective in reducing pain and suffering. However, when the animal dies with Diclofenac still in it's system, the vultures that feed from the animal carcass will ingest remnants of the drug which is poisonous to them and kills them within 24 hours.

Vultures are important in our society, they play a vital role in our ecosystem by cleaning up all of the dead animals that would otherwise be left to rot. Millions of tons of animal carcasses are disposed of each year across Asia, which if not cleaned up, would pose a real risk to human health. Asia's vultures are declining faster than the Dodo and could be extinct in the next 5-10 years, unfortunately not enough people know about the problem. Vultures are considered to be quite unsavory creatures because of this, these prehistoric looking birds are difficult to empathize with. Their company wants to change that!

Their company wants to support vital Vulture conservation projects in Nepal, they donate 10 Euros from every Parahawking flight to Vulture conservations projects.

For more detailed information go to:
Vulture Rescue - www.vulturerescue.org
Himalayan Raptor Rescue

ParaHawking in Nepal

NOW - What wild and crazy adventures would you recommend??

Popcorn, Lights, Action!

2012-02-07T19:40:00.000-06:00

I am a total movie buff! I believe even more so now that I have more time on my hands.
As I was pulling out a box of DVD's from storage, I began to think about some of the fabulous blockbusters that I own.

I have done one of these posts before, and thought - why not again?

I have decided to showcase my absolute favorite movies of all time! I must warn you, for the most part, my taste in movies is more in the drama category, and even leaning slightly toward the independent film range. Regardless, I hope you take a moment, watch the trailers, and consider renting one tonight, or catch one on Netflix.

I promise - they will get you thinking, and quite possibly, change your life!

These are not in any particular order:

1. Beyond Borders. This movie I could watch over and over again. Basically covers one of my favorite topics - Human Rights. I am a huge fan of Angelina Jolie and Clive Owen. The characters are passionate in their quest, as well as their attraction. Amazing look at Humanitarian efforts.

2. Slam. This movie is so very powerful. It sort of takes you to "the other side" and you feel the pain, witness the trials, and get a deeper understanding of what many kids on the street deal with. Also - the words - omg - the words alone - are amazing. Slam, comes from the idea of a poetry slam, and the power of words. Love it. Tears at the end for me, in a good way.

3. Requiem For a Dream. I am a HUGE fan of Jared Leto, and also a HUGE fan of this VERY disturbing look into drug abuse. AMAZING. Life changing. Intense. Be ready... you will never be the same again!
I actually felt as if I was going on the wild ride with the characters. Brilliant.

4. The Constant Gardener. A fascinating look at how pharmaceutical companies could very possibly conduct experiments. Great crime drama, and slightly disturbing. Get the kleenex ready.

5. Crash. An all star cast - and brilliant story line. I always love when movies show how all things are connected.. series of events.. decisions.. whatever. Touches on everything from racism to socio-economic issues. HIGHLY recommend.

6. Under The Tuscan Sun. Ahhhh... my absolute favorite movie of all time. Light hearted, hopeful... Any woman who has ran off to a foreign country and fallen in love.. well... you will get it. ;-)

7. Eat Pray Love. Again, one of those movies I can completely relate to. Literally read it on the airplane on the way to Egypt. The story line follows many things I have experienced.. ahhh.. watch it.. just watch it.

8. Three Needles. This movie is one of the most brilliant movies I have ever seen. Deals with the HIV epidemic.. I hope you watch it. Amazing. Heart Breaking. AMazing.. (yeah, I said it twice.)

9. Trade. One of the biggest social issues that break my heart - Human Trafficking. You MUST see this movie. MUST MUST MUST see. If you don't watch any other.. watch this one.

10. Lord of War. An amazing movie that deals with the arms trade and based on a true story. Scary to think this is how it is... you need to see! Also, Nicholas Cage does an amazing job - PLUS JARED LETO. Need I say more?

11. Babel. Excellent cast and it just goes to show how one bad decision can have a ripple effect.. MUST SEE.

12. Brooklyn's Finest. AND - one of the finest casts! AMazing story line that tackles drugs/human traffiking/corruption - etc. Was on the edge of my seat.

13. For Colored Girls. Beautifully written, amazing casts - again dealing with so many social issues... you have GOT to see.. just as a woman in general.

14. Entre Nos. An amazing film that deals with illegal immigration and heartache. I think every one should watch it.. and just watch with an open mind.

15. Or (My Treasure.) A beautiful Israeli film that deals with prostitution, survival, and the importance of setting a good example for your kids... You MUST see.

Okay - fifteen goodies to curl up with someone you love and watch, or just grab the kleenex and enjoy your alone.

They will move you. They will make you think. They just might change your life.

Also, let me know if you watch any..

:-)

Macon Miracle Feels Like Curse to Many

2012-02-07T09:50:00.002-06:00

In attempt to make a bold move and shake things up a bit, the new Bibb county school superintendent, Romain Dallemand, has created a "new plan" to rebuild the policies of the school system- one he is calling the "Macon Miracle."

When I first heard about this, I sort of rolled my eyes and thought, "Here we go, some random push back on year round schools, etc." Considering I don't have children, nor does it technically effect me directly (since my niece goes to school in the neighboring county of Jones, I sort of just brushed the issue aside.)

Then the Facebook storm began. Friend after friend posting something about the changes. I finally decided it just might be worth a shot to read more into what is going on. MAN - I got more than I bargained for.

For one, a big red flag stuck out - the cutting of jobs. As someone who is unemployed, that always makes me wince. Though, typically there is a financial reason behind it. In Dallemand's plan, he believes the system only needs 856 teachers. Seriously - that specific of a number. Currently, Bibb County Schools have 1,179 teachers. That means at least 300 jobs would be cut. What is terrifying for many, most people in Bibb County - never leave Bibb County. That means - 300 educated people out there competing for jobs, or leaving the community. From a financial standpoint, the school system will save $19 million dollars between 2013 and 2018. That's a considerable chunk. My question is - what will the class sizes be?

The next red flag that got people in an uproar was that any child could go to any school they want. Okay... not sure how that one is going to work out. The city is not a large one, only a little over 100,000 in the Greater Macon area - but considering a large percentage will be children, I am trying to understand how the transportation situation would work, or is it first come first served. Do kids in the "district" get choice of their neighborhood schools, then whatever is open is available? Also - what does this prove? Why is one school considered better than the other?Shouldn't all schools have the same resources. Sure, I realize that is not the case, but shouldn't it be?

Speaking of schools - now that they are cutting teachers, they also want to shut down 12 schools, saving the board 4.5 million dollars. WOW. Closing schools? I would be curious to see which schools.

The most ludicrous thing I read was the requirement of taking Mandarin Chinese in Kindergarten through 12th grade. Dallemand wants all students to be fluent in Mandarin. *snicker* Ummm.. I am all for learning a foreign language - God knows we need to make it mandatory to learn one, but Mandarin? Maybe Spanish? Heck, give the kids a choice. Offer three or five - and let's go from there. I am curious is there some sort of kick back from China going on here? I will say it one more time - MANDARIN?

The other uproar is for the school to go year round. I don't have a problem with that. I actually think that is a great idea, and it works well in other parts of the country and world. However, I am not sure if this a rumor or fact, but the schools will be 8 - 10 hours a day. This will put the kids getting home well after 6pm. I do not think a longer day makes a whole lot of sense - especially if the school will now be year round. Of course, they have provided no details.

Speaking of details, according to an article in the Macon Telegraph:

Board member Lynn Farmer asked about the plan’s costs, but school administrators said those details would not be known until the plan is approved by the board and administrators begin working out details of how the plan would work.

School officials need to be upfront about the costs required in setting the plan in motion, Farmer said.

“The devil is in the details, and there are not a lot of details,” she said after the meeting.

Other items that are being voted on are to provide a computer to all students who cannot afford one. I would be curious to see the qualifying measures for this. One friend of mine suggested, "Why not provide a neighborhood place and give each kid a swipe card and allow them to use the computers that way?" Good point. The first thing that popped in my head is, how much loss will the system take on the amount of computers that "disappear?" Not that all children in need come from families that would do this, but let's be honest here for a minute - that's a risky move.

Here's an interesting kick- providing dormitories for homeless children. The bleeding heart liberal in me sees providing housing to the homeless as a wonderful thing, but I don't think it is the Board of Education's responsibility to provide housing. Granted, I don't know where money like that would come from (city wise,) but there has got to be another way.

There were some good points- making teachers more "technologically invested" by keeping them abreast of the latest tools and resources, while providing those resources, etc.

But at the end of the day - it's got a whole lot of people ticked off.

In grand fashion, former Macon mayor, C. Jack Ellis decided to make this more of a black-white issue, as it seems to be his modus operandi. At a recent news conference he said:

"We want to make sure that we want to express our support to the Superintendent, to the school system, to the school board members and others who are committed to making sure that this school system is one of the best school systems that every child that can learn in this town will learn."

Ellis says the "we" he refers to is the 69 percent of the community that is African-American, and the about 80 percent of students in public schools who are African-American.

"Maybe the way we are organized is not the right way to be organized. And that's why we hired Dr. Dallemand in the first place, was to come in and make some serious changes," he says.

Ellis also says that African-American children need to learn more about the past, especially during Black History Month.
Since the majority of my readers are not familiar with the dynamics in many southern towns, I thought I would explain a little bit more here. For the most part -in Macon, there are two completely different sides of town -North Macon and South Macon. The East and West can sometimes blur - but do know, that the high schools and feeder schools are divided up accordingly. Money can be found in North Macon (and pockets of East and West Macon,) while the poorer communities can be found in South Macon as well as East Macon and pockets of West Macon. There are dozens of very expensive private schools in Macon. More than you might imagine. A large majority of the "privileged" white students attend private schools. I hate to admit this but when I ask some people, "Why do you send your child to a private school?" Many will preface with, "Well - the schools are just better," followed by in a whispered tone, "Plus, I didn't want my kid to be the only white kid at their school."

Sad but true, people.

As you can imagine, certain area of towns are more predominant in a certain race than others. I believe with this idea of kids picking whatever school they want to attend, probably has certain neighborhoods cringing and whispering amongst their friends. Though I also see the bigger issue - how and why?

So here's the thing - This "Macon Miracle" - without any details or evidence proving "why" this is a good idea, has got the citizens of Bibb County in an uproar. There are petitions being circulated, and people gathering to stop the changes, as well as letter writing campaigns to school board members...

What I think needs to be done - provide those details to the parents and teachers. Unveil a financial report proving how this is beneficial. Show where these massive savings are going back into the system. (Outside of paying for Chinese teacher's VISAs and transportation.. and trust me, I know how expensive that is..)Provide details on how the system will decide to cut teachers. What type of job placement and severance package will be provided.

And for God's sake.. please tell me why Mandarin Chinese? ;-)
If you would like to see a detailed pdf of the changes, you may do so - HERE .

My question to you is - What's your opinion?

Destionation: Unknown is a personal blog. Nothing more than an online journal of one person's perspective.

Fascinate Me!

2012-02-06T08:58:00.000-06:00

I love this quote to the left. According to this little nugget of advice, in order to lead a fascinating life one must be brimming with art- Yep, live in a house of artists; music- I am attached to my ipod; intrigue - well.. every day is a mystery!; and romance - high end melodrama coming right your way!

Well.. I suppose I should be thankful.

It's February, and as far as catching up on my life - not much has changed. I am still residing with my parents. Still without a home of my own. Lost that one back in October, due to my job loss in late July.

Still not working, though I have gone through 11 interviews, and sent off, to date - 82 resumes. Those were 82 jobs I scanned every requirement needed for it, and I had all - maybe even more.

That's the life of this girl, thus far. Luckily, my egyptian is visiting with his uncle out west and trying to see if there is a possibility for us to move out there. Though, the plan still remains - if I get a job and get us situated, then we could possibly settle here, or anywhere I end up. That's still the plan.

Also, I have to admit something, I think I made a mistake. A big one. I mean, how different would my life be now if I had stuck it out in Birmingham, and just tried to work it out and find something - anything. Technically, I think the department store was about to offer me a job, and Starbucks called the DAY before I moved. But neither would have been enough to keep my home. I sort of got talked into moving back out here by friends, who - well to be honest - clearly did not have my best interest at heart. They are no longer making appearances in my life, and now I am living with my family, a place that is high stress on it's own, and really, there is no room for me.

I can't blame other people for the decisions I made, but let's be honest here - I made a mistake. Maybe things would have turned out different. Maybe one of those positions at one of the television stations would open up. Maybe a communications director position would have come available... I moved here, also thinking, I just might get a job with the local CVB as their communications manager - it did not happen. Just door after door shut in my face. Now I find myself back in middle Georgia, with very few options in my field. Not that I ever wanted to stay in Birmingham, but the opportunities are there. It sucks to wonder if I did the right thing. It came down to money and the stress the egyptian and I were under. True - the distance has helped our relationship immensely. We are taking care of each other more, and resenting each other less and less. These things take time, and I am fortunate that for some reason, now that all of the paperwork is done, and life is moving along - and technically/legally he does not have to be with me anymore - he still chooses me. That sort of confirmed what I thought all along, and proves the naysayers wrong.

I prayed to God the other night saying I felt like I had lost my purpose in life. I wake up, drink some coffee, write a blog post, eat two meals a day, play mahjong or hearts (to keep my brain going,) read a little, watch a movie, apply to a handful of jobs that make sense, talk to the egyptian, and go to sleep and do it all over again. That's the life of the unemployed. Granted, on weekends - I have been trying to find things for Autumn and I to do. Trying to be a little more active, and include photography with it. Granted, I just have a little point and shoot - but it's fun all the same. My dreams of having a fancy camera ;-) are far from reach these days. Sometimes I could just kick myself - thinking of all of the extra money I used to have, the comfort of my adorable home, the activities on the weekends with my friends and egyptian... everything....

I took a risk - trying to make things happen here, and perhaps it was a bad move. (Literally.) So, now I have to get my brain on track, and perhaps it is the egyptian's time to figure out what our next move is. I am staying positive, but remaining realistic. The MOMENTUM is still there - trying to make healthy choices, do the things I said I wanted to do if I had the time.

For instance, yesterday I sat outside in my favorite lawn chair, in shorts - and it's FEBRUARY, and read some of my book. This beautiful dog from next door (looks like a Rottweiler puppy - BIG puppy) came bounding over to greet me. The sky was blue, the air was cool - I could not ask for a better Sunday afternoon. Later, I was thrilled to see mom had made roast beef in the crock pot (over night) and mashed potatoes. See - it's not all blech... but it's time for me to move on.

I am eager to work again. I am eager to have my own place. I only wish God would bless with me these simple items. I am capable. I am willing. I just need one door to open.....

Until then - I will just have to stay fascinating! ;-)

Adventure Saturday!

2012-02-05T10:36:00.000-06:00

Autumn and I decided to take a journey into Macon and go on a little Adventure of sorts..

Yes- She has on a sequined fedora.

Growing up in Macon, you sort of take for granted this amazing National Park in our back yard.

Ocmulgee National Monument is a memorial to the relationship of people and natural resources in this corner of North America. They preserve a continuous record of human life in the Southeast from the earliest times to the present, there is evidence here of 17,000 years of human habitation. The Mississippian culture arrived here around 900C.E. constructing mounds in their villages.

In the visitor's center - these beautiful replicas of events that took place - RIGHT HERE! In 1704, Col. James Moore, with a band of some fifty men from Charles Town, leads 1,000 warriors from the Creek towns on the Ocmulgee River to Florida. They devastate the Spanish Apalachee Mission system and drive the Spaniards back to St. Augustine. After many of the inhabitants of northern Florida are exterminated, some of the Creeks move into the area and incorporate the survivors into their own group. These people are subsequently known as the Seminole and Miccosuki.

From 900- 1150 AD, A new way of life, believed to have originated in the Mississippi River area appears on the Macon Plateau. These people, whose pottery is different from that made by the Woodland cultures in the area, construct a large ceremonial center with huge earthen temple / burial / domiciliary mounds and earthlodges, which serve as formal council chambers. Their economy is supported by agriculture, with corn, beans, squash and other crops planted in the rich river floodplain. Indigenous Woodland people in surrounding areas interact with these people, who possess early symbols and artifacts associated with the Southeastern Ceremonial Complex (Southern Cult).

The Lamar Culture, named for the Lamar Mounds and Village Unit of Ocmulgee National Monument, becomes widespread in the Southeast; chiefdoms marked by smaller, more numerous, often stockaded villages with a ceremonial center marked by one or two mounds; combination of the both Woodland and Mississippian elements

Autumn is enjoying a look into what a home would look like. She wanted me to identify and explain each tool in the house. She was most interested in how they cooked in the pit.

I was fascinate by what the Native Americans ate. Since they lived a very active lifestyle - what did they use to fuel their bodies?

Finally we exit the Visitor's Center and head down and up the hill to one of the most fascinating mounds at the park.

I asked Autumn to just sit and listen. It was completely peaceful here. She heard birds and squirrels..

She listened to the wind.

I think she got it.

Resting on the bench.. just listening...

We crossed the bridge and headed up the hill to the Earth Lodge

Autumn was a little nervous walking into the Earth Lodge..

You'll notice she is walking straight up, I had to bend down - and I am only 5 '1 1/2.

The sun shines very brightly into the lodge.

You'll notice an eagle in the earth.. and a fire pit.

We left the Earth Lodge and walked around it - and look across the great expanse. We wanted to head to the Great Temple mound.. but there is no walking straight there.. oh no... - we headed down a trail to the right.. that took us around a corner, deeper into the woods...

Once we circled the corner, we saw a big bridge, and we walked across it. I was telling her how afraid of heights I am.. and she giggled and skipped across.. lol. Below us was train tracks..

Once we exited the bridge.. we had to pass the "Trading Post" where people came to do business eons ago.. and cut across this great field.. then head down a big hill... and across..

Looking back at the bridge..

We covered it all..

Perhaps you cannot tell.. but the Great Temple Mound is VERY high. We are to the bottom of it now..

Walking across a bridge - heading toward the air of the Temple Mound.. you see the swamp area - connected to the Ocmulgee River. That river flooded in 1994, causing a natural disaster in Macon - hundreds of people were with out homes, and my family did not have water for 3 weeks..

I am heading up the stairs to the mound... looking back on the foot bridge I just crossed..

At the top of the mound.. looking back over how far we had walked..

Relaxing at the top!

Autumn took a moment to sit on the top of the Great Temple Mound, and just relax and reflect. You can see parts of downtown Macon behind her.

Next we decided to head down the stairs and down the big hill to the swampy area to hike the trails.. she kept begging to see an alligator. LOL

Down the hill - looking back over where we were...

We decided to walk each trail - come back to this spot.. and walk the next one.. We did it.

Looking back - you can see the Great Temple Mound through the trees.

As we circled out of the woods - we found ourselves right back at the trading post.. *sigh*

After re tracking our steps, and crossing the big bridge, and heading down the curved path, and passing the Earth Lodge we made it back!

According to my calculations - we hiked approximately 4.3 miles. EXHAUSTED.

Taking a bite out of today

2012-02-04T09:07:00.000-06:00

Happy Saturday!

I think I have started it off right - one can of double shot espresso from Starbucks and a hash brown patty...

Carbs & caffeine - my life's constant craving.

Today I plan to take my niece to the Ocmulgee National Monument in Macon. Back in the day, we simply called it the Indian Mounds - but that was before people learned to call people that used to live there - Native Americans.

The last time I truly explored this area was back in 2003 with my Colombian exchange student. I mean really explore. I have gone and toured the facility and witnessed a few festivals.. but this is more so a chance to go hiking - FOR REAL. PLUS - we just might meet a little guy like the one above in the picture. Oh yeah. In the words of Paulie D, "Best day of my life." LOL

Of course I plan to take my camera, and I assure you I will fill you guys in on the entire experience.

What amazing adventures do you plan to take today?

Style by Ojeez

2012-02-03T17:12:00.000-06:00

I got the most interesting email from a reader by the nick name - Ojeez, asking me to answer some questions about my personal style. These questions were really sort of interesting, and to be honest, things I had NOT thought about.

If you would like to try the survey yourself, you are welcomed to, but please post a link to your answers in the comment section.

Sooo..

On to "ojeez's" questions:

First of all, do you absolutely LOVE clothes? Very much so. So much so, that I treat them as if they were more valuable then what they are. I *heart* clothes.

Do you follow trends? I do keep up with what is in style, though I like to look for a more timeless option. Typically my accessories will be more trendy than the articles of clothing I buy.

Shop a lot? I used to. Believe it or not, I still do -when I can.

I like layering a lot. Do you layer? Sort of. I am very hot-natured, so if I layer, it is more of a tank top with a cover of some kind. Or I might add a scarf. I am quite fond of scarves.

Something you almost always have on: My wedding ring and black & silver crucifix necklace.

What's the ugliest piece of clothing youve ever seen? Those circular scarves, or crocs.

"skinny jeans". Good or bad? Good if you are skinny.

Baggy jeans. Bad or good? Good if you are not skinny.

How do you wear your pants? Sort of some where in the middle. I enjoy jeans, but I typically wear a dressy top with them. I love love love dress pants.

Are you fearful of bright colors? NO! I LOVE color.

Fearful of bold patterns? Not so much. There has to be some rhyme or reason to the pattern, and the colors need to be something I like.

Scared of stripes? Yes. I will admit - I am not keen on stripes.

Just plain hate stripes and patterns? Mainly stripes.

Best thing you've ever bought: My brown Tommy Hilfiger clogs - I love those things. They are about 4 1/2 inches high and they are the bomb!

Do you wear little kid's clothing? Nope

Do you wear the opposite gender's clothing? Not any more. I did when I was in high school and college.

Would you ever wear your significant other's pants? LOL - No.

Something you just love: Scarves!~ Cotton yoga pants for lounging ~ V neck t's ~ pencil skirts ~ heels

Favorite accessory: ear rings

Do you wear black-on-black? Yes! But definitely with some great jewelry or scarf

Black looks best with... anything! But it always catches my eye with a bright orange or hot pink

Do you wear rings? Yes!

Toe rings? No

Favorite jewelry: My crucifix, my black string beaded necklace, my lotus ear rings, my silver bracelet from Thailand.

Something you own but never wear: Thongs. Yuck. What was I thinking - sorry girls, I think it's gross.

Something you would just...never wear: Circular scarves. Flip flops. Yellow. Scrunchies. Prairie skirt. Long jean skirt.

Do you own anything that's ugly? Maybe to some people, sure.

But do you love it anyway? Perhaps. Not sure.

Have your clothes ever been made fun of? When I was a kid, I remember my friends would sometimes make fun of the color choices I made. I was never afraid of color.

Last piece of clothing you bought: A leopard print shirt (it was cream with light brown and cobalt blue in the print. Not loud, but fun.

Most expensive: Probably my prada shoes

Cheapest??: Something some one passed down

Do you love sales? Yep!

Do you care about what's "in"? Not so much. Because what is in here, is old over there. ;-)

The store that has the best clothes is... Saks

Favorite outfit? Black pants, black tank with white romantic flowy button down shirt with black mary janes. Just comfortable and me...

Something you can't own enough of: Make up

Do you have a ton of hoodies? No - just 2

Most worn color: Black or light blue

Do you do extreme fashion? No, but I do appreciate it.

Do you sometimes not match one shoe with the other? No

What do you think of shoelaces: A pain in the arse

Do toe-socks make you feel closed in? YES! They freak me out, and sort of hurt to wear

Warmest thing you own: My wool coat.

Are you boyish or girlish style wise? Girlish

Favorite jeans: OOh. I can't remember the name... crap... popular brand... sheesh.. oh well. they cost an arm and a leg and fit perfectly.

Do you like hats? Yes

Cowboy hats are... Okay

Top hats are... Boring

Fedoras!: Love

Do shoes matter? Yes - but if you can't walk in them, or they hurt too much - don't wear them. You look stupid

Does your mom approve of your clothes? Sure does

Fingerless gloves, yes or no: Don't see the point

Ear muffs?: If I lived where it was cold and windy, sure.

Fabulous knit hats?: Fab!

Whats something that makes or breaks your deal of buying something? Cost & comfort. At the end of the day, it can't break the bank - and I have to be able to move in them.

Favorite color to wear: Blue or red

Your favorite shoes: my black mary janes by naturalizer - they are soooo comfy and cute.

Favorite socks: any white tennis sock

Finally, could you pull off wearing bright green pants? Hells yeah. I have a pair that are cargo pants. LOL

Things I have Learned This Week

2012-02-03T10:02:00.001-06:00

A, B, C, D... nope it wasn't the alphabet.
1 + 1 = 2 .... nope it wasn't arithmetic.

But there were a few things I learned this week, as I bet there were some for you also!

Shall we jump right in?

1. Blocking people from the FB fan page. I have LEARNED how to block people from reading my blogs! WOo HOo. The process has begun. It sort of slaps my ego a little to watch the numbers on that page go down, but at the end of the day, I know it's the best thing. There are a few people who really have no right to read about my life anymore, and I am working diligently to make sure they don't have access. (They don't have blogger accounts, so unless they actually go searching, I will disappear!) I think if you have to search that hard for me, then pick up the phone! Sooo... invisible friends - PROBLEM SOLVED!

2. Exercise does make me feel like a million bucks. Of course, this is nothing I did not already know.. but it was something I needed to remind myself of. I have been dancing around, walking around, whenever I get the chance. The other day, I did quite a bit of walking, until I noticed the weird guy in the house through the trees just sitting on his back deck staring at me. Ewww.. Yesterday, had the house to myself, so I grabbed my ipod and danced for an hour or two!

3. A good night's sleep is a miracle. Of course we all know that your body repairs itself on a cellular level when we sleep, and if we get a proper sleep cycle - it is miraculous how we feel the next day. Even my mood - I wake up feeling A-OKAY.

4. A good moisturizer will make you look 5 years younger. I found one of my old favorite moisturizers at Rite Aid. I thought they did not make it any more. Got it, and BOOM - my skin looks even better!

5. Pop Tarts rock. I don't think I need to go any further with this one.

6. That you can't please them all. With this blog, in life, whatever else. It's just not going to happen.

7. That I really like researching Destinations to travel to. I found a course in how to become an independent travel agent. If I can figure out how to pay for the classes, I think I am going to enroll. Why not?

8. That I would love to be a travel writer. I sort of laughed the other day when my friend Melissa said she thought I would make a good travel writer. I would love it. But who doesn't want to do that? I am sure it is extremely competitive. THOUGH - what if I transitioned my blog into a "Destination" blog of sorts - where it could be my personal life mixed with travels.. etc. Get a sponsor.. get some ads.. oh.. one can dream. ;-)

9. I still need a job. Any old job would do.

10. Painted nails make me feel pretty. Since I spend most of my time at home these days, I don't fix my face (as I call it) with make up often. BUT - I am painting my nails more frequently, and it adds a bit of girly girl to my life.

11. Turns out my father is a bit of a drama king. Who knew?

12. I have missed my catalogs. They are finally being forwarded from my old address. Nothing like fantasy shopping, plus the images sometimes inspire a post.

13. Finding inspiration without daily stimuli is difficult. I think often of stay at home moms who like to write. It must be difficult to come up with anything outside of childcare - since that's all you are currently exposed to. For me - there is nothing, so it is hard to come up with story ideas.

14. My dreams have been freaky lately. I have had some CRAZY VIVID dreams. A lot have been dealing with water, and I am beach side - and I am actually in control of what is going on... I looked it up, and the dream interpretation is that my emotions are at ease and calm. HUH????

15. I love pets. Not sure I will ever own one again, and for once, I think I am okay with it.

16. I am really excited about spring. Wait - it's winter, or spring here. There is no winter - at all. What I mean is, I am excited about the flowers blooming.

17. Would like to actually wear a turtleneck sometime before March. Please God, bring us at least one cold snap.Or my coat. I never get to wear my coat.

18. I need a job.

19. I applied to a position at the American Cancer Society here in Macon I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT.

20. I love my egyptian.

PS - Here is my theme song for the week. Enjoy the music and the lyrics!

"Canned Heat"

You know this boogie is for real.

I used to buy my faith in worship,
But then my chance to Heaven slipped.
I used to worry about the future
But then I throw my caution to the wind.
I had no reason to be care free
No no no, until I took a trip to the other side of town
Yeah yeah yeah, you know I heard that boogie rhythm
Hey- I had no choice but to get down down down down.

[CHORUS]

Dance, nothing left for me to do but dance,
Off these bad times I'm going through just dance
Got canned heat in my heals tonight baby

I feel the thunder see the lightning
I know this anger's heaven sent.
So I've got to hang out all my hang-ups
Because of the boogie I feel so hell bent, hey hey
It's just an instant gut reaction, that I got
I know I never ever felt like this before,
I don't know what to do
But then thats nothing new,
Stuck between hell and high water
I need a cure to make it through.

Hey- dancing nothing left for me to do but dance
Off these bad times I'm going through just dance,
Hey got canned heat in my heals tonight baby
You know know know I'm gonna dance yeah
Off all the nasty things that people say.

Gonna dance, gonna dance my blues away tonight
Dance, come on got canned heat in my heals tonight
Canned heat in my heals tonight.

Razzle Dazzle Them

2012-02-02T09:47:00.000-06:00

I had a profound moment as a child listening to the "Chicago" soundtrack album in my parent's living room. As usual, I was probably dressed up in my mother's 1970's outfits, stumbling around in her high heels, perhaps even wrapped in a feather boa or scarf. The song, "Razzle Dazzle" came on, and believe it or not, those words spoke to this little 7 year old.

I was quite impressionable, already performing on stage with my dance academy, so I got the whole idea of bright lights, and music, and getting swept away with a story. Just three years later, I would grace a stage with a speaking role, and truly my idea of "razzle dazzle them" came into play.

Take these experiences and mix that with good, old fashioned "fake it till you make it charm," and you can create one hell of a spin story.

You see, I learned how to razzle dazzle my way into and out of any situation. I learned how to throw my charm on when needed, or show tears to change some one's mind. It was all a bit of manipulation, but not in a bad way.. in a human dynamics sort of way.

I think theater kids, out of all children, if they survive those crazy teen years without going totally goth and off their rockers, will end up with this fascinating gift of reading people, and becoming what is needed. You learn at an early age to observe people. Often times, if I am in a new situation, I will seem aloof or quiet, when really- I am just observing people, analyzing the situation, if you will. If I have no need to do that - I go straight into "me" mode. But new situations, I observe.

I anytime there is a large gathering of friends, let's say - at a party, I will take the time to watch the dynamic of the group. It's become even easier to study other people when you are not drinking any more. WOW. (I will leave it just at that.)

I believe it was in the seventh grade that I picked up a book at the used book sale titled - "How to Win Friends & Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. What a powerful book to read, ESPECIALLY in the hands of a 12 year old. If you are not familiar with Dale Carnegie, and I seriously doubt many of you are NOT familiar - he is waaay famous, but just in case - he was an American writer, lecturer, and the developer of famous courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills. In his best selling book, "How to Win Friends & Influence People," one of the biggest tools I took away was - "Every one wants to talk about themselves." If you let people share their story, they will love you.

Huh.

So.. as a kid, I started asking lots of questions of people. It was amazing, they just opened up and would spill every thing! I mean - EVERY THING. I used to joke around and say I could get anyone to tell me anything. To this day, I can still do it - but luckily, I don't typically use this information for anything other than just filling my curious brain. By the age 15 or so, I realized - every body's got a story. A really amazing one at that. Which fed into my need to want to go into journalism.... and that's sort of what made me - me.

So every time I hear the song "Razzle Dazzle," I sort of stop and smile. I get it. It's a great life lesson. Actually there are two great songs with AMAZING life lessons in them. If you can get past the silliness of some of it.. and listen to the lyrics, you will hear the seeds of GREAT truths.

Now, if you will indulge me, play the songs I am about to post.. and read along with the lyrics. Pretty good stuff...

The first song, actually has the lyrics on the video!

Some thing with this song...
Lyrics on video..

Good stuff! :-)

Finding Our Inner Rock Star

2012-02-01T08:34:00.000-06:00

One of my friends posted an article on Facebook by Tara Mohr, it was titled "Ten Rules For Amazing & Brilliant Women." Usually, I just read the tiny narrative on something and pass it over. But something, maybe that inner rock star, just nudged me a little.. it told me to read it.

Incredibly motivational. Just what I needed. Granted, there was nothing in there I did not already innately know. But it was good to be reminded, you know? I think that I forgot what it felt like to be on top.

Last night, one of my dearest friends, Tonya (the one I volunteered with in Savannah in early December,) gave me a call. We had one of our marathon conversations. Always inspiring, always just what I need. Just the day before, I had one of those conversations with one of my best friends/old room mates, Keli (who lives in Mississippi.) There was a recurring theme with both conversations - "You are too strong and too talented to let this get you."

Then this morning, from one of the smartest women I know, Teresa, I saw this article she posted. It hit me - I have lost that spunk I used to have.

Part of me wondered, was it what I was supposed to do? Was God trying to humble me, and teach me how mellow a little? Or was God testing me, and trying to make me just a little stronger? Maybe a little of both - who am I to figure these things out?

I taught myself years ago (like high school age) how to be more self confident. I figured out that with setting goals, working really hard, and building a very tight safety net around me, I could accomplish incredibly outlandish dreams. I think I soared through my 20s, and then I got to my 30s and I let life use me as a punching bag.

But deep, deeeeeeep inside of me - that's not who I am. I am strong. I am confident. I am talented. I am worthy of love and respect. Heck, we all are. It's remembering it and actually behaving like I am, that is hard to do.

The article reminds all of us to squelch that inner negative self-talk, hold your head a little higher, and remember you need to be your own best friend. That's it - back to Leanne's quote and back to what this article said, I need to love myself - YOU NEED TO LOVE YOURSELF and be your own best friend.

I used to do that, and I did some pretty cool things. What the hell happened?

I think negative self talk, negative talk from people who are important to me, and constantly trying to please my old boss/my husband/and any other person who came along wore me down. At the end of the day, I was living for every one's approval, but not because I wanted to do a good job.

I'm going to work really hard to be that self confident, thick skinned, amazing & brilliant woman that I know I am. I want those of you struggling with inner demons to try the same thing.

It's going to work out.. and like I told my friend Tonya last night, "It just has to."

The Key is Self Acceptance

2012-01-31T18:08:00.000-06:00

The news is pretty depressing these days, isn't it? Heck, it was depressing enough to sort of make me feel a little down this morning. Enough to make me shed some of that hurt from the job loss.

It's still there.

I know my friends and family want me to let it go and "keep the hope alive." I think I pretend all is well to make others feel better.

I have always been one who believed, "Fake it until you make it." Typically it works, but now..

Anyway..

I find I have been comparing my situation to other people's situation. I have also let my soul get bruised.

I find when I follow the advice above, and just silence my mind, one of two things happen: 1. Tears flow or 2. I find peace. I find healing.

Those scars, they are still scabby, and something as small as a negative article about the poverty level and the lack of jobs in America can send me on a downward spiral. Overly sensitive is how I would describe myself these days. Waaaay over sensitive.

I know every one is sick of me talking about my job loss - hell, so am I. But it is what I am going through. I find most of us (Americans) like to stick our heads in the sand after a while. When something tragic happens, we are all on board offering our condolences and a helping hand. But we are a proud group, that likes to think we live in a perfect world with perfect experiences, etc. In the words of Little Orphan Annie, we believe "The sun will come out tomorrow.." though, not ever experiencing something like the depression of the 30's, we aren't accustomed to bad weather for long periods. Guess what? My long period is here. My crisis is real. It's not easy.

I am trying really hard to capture my thoughts and feelings. I want to look back on this and see growth, to see honesty, to see the transition. I want to think that I will be back in a big office, with a view, a company credit card and traveling here or there - only to share my expert knowledge and creative ideas with people who hire people like me, because I am just that special.

It might happen.

It might not.

I just finished watching an episode of No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain. It was filmed in 2008, well after Hurricane Katrina ripped through the Gulf. He was chatting with a local fisherman, a man who was well educated (law school,) but chose to live in one of the devastated areas, and basically goes fishing for oysters and shrimp. Anthony asked, "Why do you do this? You could be doing anything, any where."

Before the guy answered, I thought to myself, "Look at this. He throws down his net, he floats on the sea, he pulls his net - and separates the oysters. Some days are good, some days not so good. But it's an honest living. Heck, I get it. I envy him."

My soul craves some structure. I am craving some monotony of working. I want my own space. I need to stop comparing my situation of my friends that are making it work, and just be true to myself. One of my fellow blogger friends does a VLOG every Monday, and she quoted Lucille Ball, "If you love yourself first, everything else will fall into place." I am trying to remember that.

I will pull myself up by the boot straps tonight. Let the opinions of some go. I like me, and heck, I have a lot to offer.

Night! Night!

One Pay Check From Poverty

2012-01-31T09:27:00.001-06:00

"Honey, we're all just one pay check from being homeless."
Those are the words a woman working part time at the Fire House Shelter in Birmingham, Alabama once told me.

I had asked what type of people find themselves homeless, this coming from someone who made a comfortable income (on her own,) and feeling like a winner in all respects. I remember her looking at me with that knowing glance, as she explained how just about any one, with any back ground, could end up in place like that.

Her words struck me. They always stayed with me, even though it is hard to believe in this day and age that some one with a college degree and lots of experience would find themselves without a job. On July 29th, 2011 - my life was flipped upside down. I never thought that by January 31st, 2012, six months later, I would still be unemployed.

The problem with this scenario, it's not just me. Half of America is just one crisis from poverty, according to the Huffington Post. If you have not seen this article, I highly recommend you read it now. You can find it HERE .

I have spent the past six months trying to make sense of it all. Nothing seems to add up. Experiencing interview after interview, only to be told I am either "over qualified" and it would not make a good fit, or someone had just a little more experience, it's hard to not get personally destroyed. I have gotten so numb to the process, that even when an employer calls to give me my rejection, and even when they offer to forward my resume to contacts (sense they were so impressed with me,) it's hard to see the bright side of things.

You see, I chose career over children. Whether or not that was a good choice, remains to be seen.

I can relate to the people in the video in the article above. Particularly the lady at the end, who says she would not "wish this on anyone." I tried to hold things together in Birmingham. I made it from July to October - and finally, I had to make a choice- Pay rent and risk being evicted the following month, or move in with my parents. I moved.

I went from being completely self sufficient, to feeling like a reject in society. All of those contacts I had - never offered anything. All of the praying - and I hate to say it - has not eased my pain. I am trying to trust in God's timing. I really am. But it seems the walls are closing in. I am positive - in the sense that I keep telling myself it is going to get better soon. But the truth is, and the truth for a lot of families these days - it might not.

I know it sucks to read that - but it's something I have to face. I am now sending applications for positions in offices, and even a few barista positions. (Since I like coffee.) Throwing all of my marketing, journalism, and promotion talents and experience down the drain. I need job. I don't have the luxury of taking time to do what I really want, because money will always be a factor. I don't come from a wealthy family. My parents can hardly afford to feed themselves (fixed retired income from working class jobs.) I have to do SOMETHING, and quick.

When I see videos or read stories like the one in the Huffington Post, it makes me so glad I don't have children. What would I have to offer a family? Nothing.

Each day, as the walls close in a little more, and my father continues to resent me sleeping on his couch (oh yeah, he is into name calling now,) and watching the rest of my family struggle... then trying as I might to find a corner to hide in, and just push.. push.. push resumes out there... and praying. Continuous praying....

I hold on... but losing so much hope.

Again, I can turn on the positive thinking, like a little light switch. Granted, it's sort of fake. Yes, the exercise is working. Yes, the spending time with friends in conversation makes it all sort of disappear for a bit. But when I get on the phone with the egyptian, and most of the conversation is about what bills am I going to take care of and what things have I gotten rid of - it wears you down. When you go to the refrigerator for something to eat, and your father glares at you, or calls you a name when you ask a simple question - it wears you down. When you read that, hell, half of America is right where you are - and jobs are scarce - it wears you down even further.

I will continue to pray. Continue to send resumes. Continue to throw on a smile when necessary. But honestly.. if I am being completely honest with myself...

It all seems a bit too much to bear.

Over flowing with ideas!

2012-01-30T09:15:00.000-06:00

Human beings need pleasure the way they need vitamins.

~Lionel Tiger

There are just too many things to inspire me today! Consider it inspiration overload.

Maybe it's because I am in love with my egyptian and all is going well.

Maybe it is because I got a good night's sleep.

Maybe because I am finally reconnecting with some people who were new friends, right before I left Macon in 2005, and now - it's time to make them my old friends! (I do adore these people.)

Maybe it's because I am okay with getting rid of the things in the storage unit, just the way the egyptian asked.

Maybe it was because I got some exercise yesterday and spent some time playing with the dogs outside.

Who knows! But I am thrilled to try it all.

What I want to share with you are some great recipes, and some great ideas!

Little things I am just dying to try out soon!

*Click on the highlighted word for more information!*

Grilled Pastrami, Swiss, Sweet Onion Marmalade, on Rye

Is it just me or is this just the most amazing sandwich??? Serve one up for me now!

Mozerella Grilled Cheese with Basil Pesto Sauce

Chicken, Spinach & Goat Cheese quesadilla with avocado sour cream dipping sauce

Washer/Fabric/or Paper/Modge Podge

Looks simple enough!!

Glass Lamp Makeover

Now for some simple words for me to remember this week - and hopefully you also!

I hope each of you has a fantastic week. If you are off to work - try to stay positive and be thankful for employment (trust me on this one) and if not - and you are like me, let's keep our thoughts positive and hope that before the week is out miracles happen.

They can..

But they must arrive in their own time.

Have a blessed day!

The Heidelberg Project

2012-01-29T08:44:00.000-06:00

One of the things I have been doing on my Facebook "Destination Unknown" fan page is to post a picture of some place I would like to go some day, or maybe I have been there, and I want to encourage others to travel there.

While doing this, I have been making a list of amazing "destinations." I have found so many places I have never heard of, and I can assure you, I know my geography.

As I find these places, I book mark them, then search for a pic on Pinterest to hold in my "Destination Unknown" board. *shameless plug - Follow the Destination Unknown Fan Page on Facebook - I do soo much more there, and it's very interactive, also follow me on Pinterest. All of the links are on the left hand side.*

One of the places I found that I was immediately drawn to was the Heidelberg Project in Detroit, Michigan. Typically, I will just post a pic and a little info about the place, but today I felt compelled to write more about it. You guys know most of my career has been in non profits and promotions - and this non profit is something I could believe in.

Basically, Tyree Guyton uses every day, discarded objects to create a two block area of symbolic and vibrant art. Heidelburg Street is in the very heart of Detroit, and the ghetto. Poor, run down, desolate, but now there is hope - and it's been happening over the past 25 years. He has taken the idea to heal his community through art - and it's working!

Their Vision Statement inspired me, it says:
The theory of change for the Heidelberg Project begins with the belief that all citizens, from all cultures, have the right to grow and flourish in their communities. The HP believes that a community can redevelop and sustain itself, from the inside out, by embracing its diverse cultures and artistic attributes as the essential building blocks for a fulfilling and economically viable way of life.

HDNet - "Art From The Ashes: Detroit's Heidelberg Project" from Tilapia Film on Vimeo.

I would challenge each of you find some little way this week to make a difference in your community. If Tyree and his grandfather could defy the odds with this amazing art project, there has got to be something we could do in our very own communities.

If you feel compelled to do so, please donate to the Heidelberg Project HERE.
Or if you are interested in visiting the area, like I am, you can find more information HERE .

Have a beautiful Sunday!

Soul Sister Saturday

2012-01-28T16:45:00.000-06:00

I've been spending a little extra time on me this weekend.

For example - taking advantage of my new nail polish - Blue Slate by Revlon. Love it. (Yeah.. it's messy.. sorry.)

Helping Autumn make (as she calls it) "Egg Salad Soup." (It's been fairly rainy around these parts.)

Communing with Love Bug..

She is killing me with the grossness of this.

Then trying to catch her!

She is such a lady. *wink*

Lord, have mercy on her.

Starting my morning off right.

Tried reading this... don't like it... but I will finish it. Too.. oh I don't know... silly and unrealistic.

Yeah, not a big fan of "light reading."

Hours playing Mahjong.

Or watching my sister create. Her latest painting...

Or giving myself a mud mask (Borghese) - good stuff...

Doing a little laundry, when Lestat will allow it...

Took Autumn to the mall today - she picked out this comforter set, saying it matches "Auntie Cole's pajamas." Which, btw, it does.

Yes - I got sucked into this.. and btw.. malls should be ashamed of themselves putting these in high traffic areas. Shame, shame.. shame.. I got cornered into doing this..

Of course a trip to the pet store is always a treat. Autumn immediately slid onto the floor and began loving on the babies...

Later, we hit up my favorte dive Tex-Mex restaurant in Macon - Polly's La Mesa.

My enchilada - and the pic came out blurry... smothered in yellow cheese...

I ended up spending about 1/2 an hour in the kid section at Barnes & Noble...

THANK GOD.

Met some friends over at Wild Wing Cafe - and of course, she got dessert.

Me with Autumn and Owen!

Autumn and Owen making wishes in the fountain.

Leslie, (Owen's mom) with Autumn.. the kids played on the lawn, while Leslie and I caught up on things..

I survived!!!

On the way back to the house, stopped by Kema's Bookstore - and found out Steve Berry is coming to town - and will be at Kema's book store on Thursday night...

I bought his book.. so I can get it signed!

He is a New York Times best selling thriller author.. a Dan Bown type!

Came home to see my tickets arrived for the symphony...

Now that the egyptian is going to Los Angeles...

Who will join me??? Friends - I will start the bidding now! hahahah

My new addiction!

How was your Saturday?

Blog Semantics

2012-01-27T10:30:00.001-06:00

Artist Unknown

One of the best things I could have ever done was start a blog. Even though I have kept a journal since the 3rd grade, (and yes I still have all of them,) there is something therapeutic about posting my words for the world to see.

I still keep a personal, hand written journal. There are so many things I could never, EVER write here. Things not a single person in this world knows about. Believe it or not, I don't tell everyone, EVERY THING.

If you have read some of my earlier posts, you know that I am a little weirded out by super-private people. I live by the philosophy, "Who cares what others think?" and "If you are doing something other people should not know about, then perhaps you should not be doing it at all."

But the truth is, there are a few things I keep super quiet. Like how some people I care about make me feel. Or perhaps some dreams I have, that I think others may find silly. No, I don't do anything sneaky, or weird, or illegal, but I do have some private thoughts. Things I know will hurt other's feelings. Not because I am mean, or wicked, or hateful - but because, whether people like to admit it or not, we don't all think happy thoughts about other people all of the time. Sometimes, I get so angry, those emotions may spill out onto the page here. But honestly, I try to censor myself in that respect. Scary, huh? Cause I pretty much call it like I see it - but I also know, many people can't handle the truth. Heck, it's hard for me to take, but I do like to hear it.

It's also difficult when keeping a blog for friends to keep in contact with you. I don't know how many days I could go without even so much as a phone call, or text, or email, or facebook message from a friend. You see, many of them "keep up with me," by reading my blog. It's like a one sided conversation. I am telling you all about my day, thoughts, my feelings, blah blah blah, and they are like, "Okay, she's good." Whenever we do get to talk, many will say, "I do read your blog. So I keep up with you." Little do they know, I have no idea what is going on in their world.

I do have a few friends that call or text at least once a week - checking in, even though they do keep up with me. One friend invites me to coffee at least once a week, and another, her best friend, always makes a point to see if I would like to join them for something or the other. I appreciate that.

When I was in Birmingham, I don't think I appreciated the friends I had there as much as I should. I was always grateful to have them, but I did not realize how great I had it. One, I was in a great location to meet up with people, unlike now. I am at least 20 -30 minutes from every one. I truly thought when I moved here I would have actually ended up in Macon by now. Not the case

My friends in Birmingham would always meet for coffee, or we would go out to eat, or go to each other's homes, or whatever. There was always a festival on the weekend we could attend - and they were always free. I miss that. I miss them. I am so thrilled to say, they are the main ones who continue to keep in touch with me, like they always did, even though I KNOW they read my blog. (Thanks, guys.)

The most important thing I can do is remain true to myself. Keep the MOMENTUM *word of the year* going, and take advantage of the opportunities as they present themselves. I am still an avid reader, clearly a frequent blogger, and a crazy photo-snapping friend. I miss the social interactions I used to have with people, because the trees just aren't talking to me like I thought they would. My blood pressure is super low these days, and that's a good thing. Less stress, less activity, less everything. I feel as if I am off the grid - outside of this online outlet.

I wanted a break - I got one. I needed some time for reflection - I got it. A 6 month retreat, so to speak. I am so pleased so many of my friends that found themselves unemployed have made something happen. Unfortunately, I am a little lost in that respect. I don't have that entrepreneur spirit. I am still considering offering my services to non-profits around here. That idea is still there. I just need to flush out some of the restraints and obstacles and do an analysis on what is available and what is not around here.

Blogging has been a wonderful tool for me, as I am sure, many of you who follow and blog, can relate to. I wonder how many of you run into the same problem I do - with it being a one way communication road? I believe for many bloggers, that is why the comments are oh-so-important to us. We need to know we are being heard. If I write something, meaningful, and I hear "crickets," I sometimes wonder.. if anyone is listening at all.

Things that annoy me - Vol. 563

2012-01-26T07:46:00.000-06:00

I am sitting at the computer, with my cup of coffee.
As I was trying to think about what to write, my thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of a walrus breathing.

Well, not a walrus, but it is what I would imagine a walrus would sound like breathing.

Let's just say, it did not sound like a train.

Which sort of inspired this post.
Things that annoy me - yet again.

You know, my annoyances change over the years, the months. I find it fascinating that one year, a certain sound or smell will drive me bonkers, and then a few months later, I am totally cool with it.

Let's begin, shall we?

1. Snoring. I think the walrus description might clear that one up. Apparently I used to snore also, but I fixed that problem AND I found out I have a deviated septum. However, when I hear someone else snores, my skin crawls and I begin to feel sick to my stomach. Ultimate in annoyance.

2. The sound of the flop on a flip flop. UGH. This is one of the biggest pet peeves of mine. I HATE that sound. It sounds sooo.. oh I don't know... trashy.

3. People who tap their fingernails repeatedly. Make that FAKE fingernails. Grrr...

4. Telemarketers calling before 8am, after 5pm or on a Sunday. It's Sunday, for goodness sake!

5. When people suggest, "Hey, let's go out to eat." Then they proceed to want subs. That's not going out to eat. That's some sort of chinese water torture technique that makes me never want to take your call again.

6. Defensiveness and Passive Aggressiveness. I live with a house FULL of it.

7. When someone says something "not so nice" to another person, then the recipient looks around and makes eye contact with whoever is there looking for validation of wrong doing. Don't look my way, just stand up for yourself.

8. Oh.. this one really gets my goat... people who claim to be sooo laid back, or accepting, or whatever - then the moment you let your guard down, they attack, judge, or totally talk about other people. I heard of an incident recently with some people, and I am HIGHLY disappointed.

9. You know, sometimes there really are stupid questions.

10. Chomping on gum, and doing so with your mouth open. Looks soooo yucky.

11. Popping your gum. I will soooo call you out in public if you do that.

12. Kicking my seat in a movie theater. Grrr.

13. Commenting on some one's online activity - for example - Someone says, "Hey, you are always on Facebook." I often think to myself, wait a minute, if I am always on facebook, then you must be on facebook.. and why oh why do you feel the need to point it out? PS- honestly, I go on FB about 3 times a day.

14. People talking about female issues. DON'T WANT TO DISCUSS IT. I had a hysterectomy 9 years ago. Trust me, those days are over - sooo long gone, that I can't even relate anymore. I don't want to hear about yours - AT ALL.

15. Whistling your s. My skin will crawl.

16. The sound of people using water colors on a canvas. Goes back to my dislike of anything scratching paper, card board or the like. Spine crawling.. I swear.

17. Slurping. Don't do it.

18. Blowing on something to cool it. Your breathe is like 90-something degrees, yeah - sounds like a great idea to me.

19. Asking someone to do something, that you would never do for someone else.

20. Too much patriotism. It's a little ridiculous. Perhaps that would make a great July 4th post. ;-)

Okay... that's it.

I hope you guys have a great day! It's supposed to be rainy and warm here. Egyptian leaves in 2 days - and PS - WE WERE WRONG. It's not Orange County, it's LA County. But right on the border. Sooo... Los Angeles it is. (Shows how much we know about California. LOL)

We'll see.....

Things I have Learned This Week.. and it's only Wednesday

2012-01-25T11:43:00.000-06:00

It's Wednesday, and to be perfectly honest, I have nothing to say. Not really.
I went to bed a little after 6am, my mind just buzzing...
I woke up a little after noon, it's 12:27pm now.

But I am sure I learned something over the past few weeks. I am just sure of it.

So let's give it a whirl -

1. I have learned that at the end of the day, it's just me. I don't have kids, my husband lives else where, I don't have pets - I need to just take care of me.

2. I am, more than likely, not #1 in any one's life. Unfortunately, not even the egyptian's. (I would be willing to bet his pie chart order would be - God, Him, His family back home, His friends, then me.) No, we are not fighting, I just think this is how he thinks. Okay, maybe I trump his friends, but that totally depends on his mood.

My niece and Heather have each other. My Mom and Dad would probably say Autumn was #1 in their lives. Most of my friends have their very own BFF. Yep - it's just me.

3. That clearly I am not a visual artist. So much so, that my artist Mom was poking fun at a bird house I painted a couple of years ago. Okay, okay - I never said I had any special talent in that.

4. Apparently I WON'T work just any job. I have yet to apply to fast food restaurants or grocery stores.

5. I can't sleep. Perhaps it is the lattes I drink at 6pm.

6. That my body is mad at me for not exercising these past two weeks. Grrr... I need. to. get. moving.

7. That I give myself credit for trying, but I cannot enjoy a romance novel. I thought it might put me in a good mood, or whatever. I just keep rolling my eyes as I turn the pages.

8. I could live off mac & cheese. In the box. Or the Ingles (local grocery store) salad bar.

9. I really want a nice pair of pearls. Yeah.. it's something I realized this week.

10. I have season tickets to the symphony, and it is sad that the egyptian will not get to use them with me. He loves classical music.

11. Blah.

12. Believe it or not, I am still in a basic good mood, but today I am feeling blah. I am replacing negative thinking with more positive thinking, but I have to throw in a dash of realism. See #2. I have to stop searching for approval, and love, and whatever else most humans receive on a daily basis. Just accept that I am back to taking care of my needs for now, and that's it.

13. My nails are waay too brittle.

14. That sharing a bed with a 5 year old is like sleeping in a barn with a mule. The kid kicks me non stop, and sleeps diagonally.

15. Blah.

16. The beautiful days have afforded me an opportunity to drive with my sun roof open and the music blaring. It is basically 68 to 70 degrees every day. It's freaking January.

17. Blah.

18. I am looking forward to connecting with some old friends and family in town. I have reached out, and I am going to make it a priority to create a new circle for me.

19. Blah.

20. I'm hungry and have not had my mood altering coffee. Got to go!

Fantasy Valentines Day

2012-01-24T09:32:00.000-06:00

Oh, if it be to choose and call thee mine, love, thou art every day my Valentine! ~Thomas Hood

This Valentine's Day, I will probably be in middle Georgia, while my love will be on the West Coast. Definitely does not make it easy, nor optimal. If I had my way, our situation would look completely different.

For today's blog post, I have created my fantasy Valentine's Day. You think I am kidding? Oh.. you are in for a surprise.

Shall we begin?

First of all, I would probably spend the morning making treats for my family and the egyptian. Here are a few picked out, and I would like to share the recipes with you!

Red Wine Lollipops

I would make Red Wine Lollipops. I saw this recipe on Sprinklebakes.com and was fell in love. If you click on the picture it will take you to the recipe. I could see my closest friends and family devoring these beauties! How romantic and how Valentine's Day!

Sweet Heart Sugar Cookies

Next I would spend the morning baking these beautiful Sweet Heart Sugar Cookies from Southern Living. (again click on the pic to be taken to the recipe.) I believe my Dad and little Auttie Blossom would love these, especially!

White Chocolate Cherry Shortbread Cookies

Finally, I would make for the egyptian and myself, some White Chocolate Cherry Shortbread Cookies from Midwest Living.com. These look divine!

Valentine Confetti

For my friends, I would create these wonderful bags of Valentine Confetti (found on Nest Of Posies - follow link) and deliver to each and every one of them.

After the morning of preparation has finished, the egyptian would arrive in this beautiful classic car. He would be carry in his hand... a bouquet of roses....

Love Sonnet Roses

They would be unique, because he would have taken the pages from a book a love sonnets. He knows I would cherish this, plus - they never die!

He would then intruct me to pack my bags for a week. Would would drive off in the classic car to the airport, where a private jet would be waiting....

Once we got to our destination, we would head over to the hotel and I would change into my Valentine Attire.

Though I would think my dress was complete, he would hand me a box and I would find...

A beautiful pearl necklace with this beautiful brooch attached. Immediately I would put it on and insist he tell me where we are going...

Puglia's Cave Restaurant & Bar - Italy

He would wisk me off to Puglia's Caves, where we would have dinner and drinks over looking the sea.

Next, he would whisk me off to my favorite performance of all - The Ballet. We would relax in our perfect seats and get swept away by the movement, the colors, and the music.

Finally, to end the night, he would give me the cutest and best gift of all - A tiny, black cat.

Ahh... isn't Valentine's Day amazing?

What would you do on your fantasy date?

PS - If you want to know more about the places and recipes and crafts, just click on the picture.

Righty or Lefty?

2012-01-23T09:46:00.001-06:00

Have you seen this ad?

It's basically showcases the whole idea of left brain versus right brain. I have to admit, I think my left brain does not work as often as it should. I have to concentrate really hard to wake it up. ;-)

If you are unfamiliar with the side of the brain concept, here is a great graph that can explain it a little more.

Which side do you think you use more?

Of course, we use both sides, however, it just so happens some may favor one side over the other.

I took a test through the Art Institute of Vancouver to see the percentage wise of my thought patterns. It's free and fast! You can take the test HERE

Now, here are my results -

Left Brain- 43% Right Brain- 57%

You are more right-brained than left-brained. The right side of your brain controls the left side of your body. In addition to being known as right-brained, you are also known as a creative thinker who uses feeling and intuition to gather information. You retain this information through the use of images and patterns. You are able to visualize the "whole" picture first, and then work backwards to put the pieces together to create the "whole" picture. Your thought process can appear quite illogical and meandering. The problem-solving techniques that you use involve free association, which is often very innovative and creative. The routes taken to arrive at your conclusions are completely opposite to what a left-brained person would be accustomed. You probably find it easy to express yourself using art, dance, or music. Some occupations usually held by a right-brained person are forest ranger, athlete, beautician, actor/actress, craftsman, and artist.

Your complete evaluation follows below:

Your left brain/right brain percentage was calculated by combining the individual scores of each half's sub-categories. They are as follows:

Your Left Brain Percentages
54% Verbal (Your most dominant characteristic)
37% Linear
34% Logical
34% Reality-based
25% Symbolic
5% Sequential (Your least dominant characteristic)

Your Right Brain Percentages
53% Intuitive (Your most dominant characteristic)
48% Fantasy-oriented
36% Holistic
32% Nonverbal
28% Concrete
23% Random (Your least dominant characteristic)

What Do These Percentages Mean?
Low percentages are common in the Brain Type Test and are not indicative of intelligence. Instead, medium to high scores (30 - 50%) are desirable, as they show an ability to utilize a processing method without an abnormal reliance on it. Special focus should be paid to highly dominant (50% or above) or highly recessive (0 - 30%) methods, as they tend to limit your approach when learning, memorizing, or solving problems.

If you have Highly Dominant characteristics, your normal thinking patterns will naturally utilize these methods. Conscious effort is required to recognize the benefits of other techniques. Using multiple forms of information processing is the best way to fully understand complex issues and become a balanced thinker.

If you have Highly Recessive characteristics, your normal thinking patterns naturally ignore these methods. You may only consider these under-utilized techniques when "all else fails," or possibly not at all. It is important to recognize the benefits of all of your brain's capabilities in order to become a balanced thinker.

Left Brain Categories

Verbal Processing

Verbal processing is a method used by the left hemisphere to process our thoughts and ideas with words. For example, through verbal processing, a left-brained person giving directions may say, "From this point continue east for two miles and turn north onto Bellevue Road. Continue north on Bellevue Road for seven miles and turn west on Main Street". With verbal processing, exact, logical directions are given in a very sequential manner compared to a right-brained person who, in giving the same directions, would use more visual landmarks.

Your Verbal Analysis
You are a highly verbal person. Using this method you process your thoughts and ideas with words. You use exact, technical logic for the descriptions of your thoughts and seldom use illustrations. If giving directions, you would say, "Continue two miles east on Court Street and turn north onto Jefferson Street" because, to you, this is the clearest way to get the information across.

(Why I love writing and explaining - and why I love GPS!)

Linear Processing
Linear processing is a method by the left hemisphere to process information. In this process, the left brain takes pieces of information, lines them up, and proceeds to arrange them into an order from which it may draw a conclusion. The information is processed from parts to a whole in a straight, forward, and logical progression.

Your Linear Analysis
When processing information using this method, you will occasionally feel the need to see the "whole picture" before you are able to achieve results. At other times, you are able to piece all of the parts together in a straight and logical progression to form a whole, which then enables you to understand what you have processing. The information, your mood, and your level of comfortable are all factors that determine your response to a linear processing problem.

(I am soooo this way. That's why I had such a hard time getting the concept of breaking down a strategic plan. I get what I need to do - but don't ask me to break it down.)
Logical Processing
Logical processing is a method that is used by the left hemisphere to take information piece by piece and put it all together to form a logical answer. When information is received through reading or listening, the left hemisphere will look for different bits of information that will allow it to produce a logical conclusion. This aspect of the left hemisphere is what aids you in solving math problems and science experiments.

Your Logical Analysis
When processing information using this method, you may consider the information before you and produce a logical answer, or you may tend to go with your gut. You may discover that you can "guess" your way through S.A.T. questions about as accurately as you can deduce them. It is important that you nurture your ability to use logic whenever it is needed, but do not neglect other methods of processing information if you hit a logical roadblock.

(totally - I was a really good "guesser" in tests.)

Reality-based Processing
Reality-based processing is used by the left hemisphere as a method for processing information with a basis on reality. This processing tool focuses on rules and regulations. An example of this would be how a left-brained person would completely understand the repercussions of turning in a late assignment or failing a test. A left-brained person also usually easily adjusts to changes in their environment.

Your Reality-based Analysis
You process information with a basis in reality, but are not limited to it. You may recognize the repercussions of your actions, but proceed to do something anyway, in the heat of the moment. You can complete projects to whice you are emotionally attached as well as random tasks.

(yeah, this is what makes me look willy-nilly sometimes. I get it, but sometimes, if I am not passionate or care about something - I'll just suck it up and take the repercussions.)

Symbolic Processing
Symbolic processing is a method associated with the left hemisphere that is used for processing the information of pictures and symbols. The majority of functions associated with academics involve symbols such as letters, words, and mathematical notations. This process is what aids you to excel in tasks such as linguistics, mathematics, and memorizing vocabulary words and mathematical formulas.

Your Symbolic Analysis
You have the ability to process the information of symbols at times, but you may need to first view the real object before you can understand what you are trying to process. For example, in solving math problems it occasionally helps you to "draw out" the problem, which allows you to better understand it through visualization. At other times you do not need visualization to aid you in forming your answers.

(I would say that is spot on! Probably why I got geometry much easier than the other math classes.)

Sequential Processing
Sequential processing is a method used by the left hemisphere for processing information. The information that is received is processed in order from first to last. Information is processed in a systematic, logical manner. Through sequential processing, you can interpret and produce symbolic information such as language, mathematics, abstraction, and reasoning. This process is used to store memory in a language format. Activities that require sequential processing include spelling, making a "to-do" list, and many aspects of organization.
Your Sequential Analysis
You tend process information you receive without any priority as to which is processed first, last, or any place in between. It is difficult for you to learn or perform tasks involving sequence. For example, spelling is a task that involves sequence and you may experience problems remembering exact spelling or any type of rote memorization, for that matter. Creating daily lists and plans are probably not activities you enjoy. If you are having problems with tasks involving sequence, there are methods you can use to improve your skills. One method involves using colors to learn sequence. You assign a color to each task. For example, you may want to make the first step green, the second step blue, and the last step red. This helps because the right side of the brain, your dominant side in this case, is sensitive to colors. The important thing to remember is that consistently using the same sequence will help you both improve and recognize that this strategy can be used in many different circumstances involving sequence.

(Spot on! The color idea is really an interesting concept. I will give it a go..)

Right Brain Categories

Intuitive Processing
Intuitive processing is a method that is used by the right hemisphere to process information based on if it "feels" right or not. For example, a right-brained person may choose an answer on a test because they had a "gut" feeling and often they will be correct. Another example of this is how a right-brained person will know the correct answer to a math problem but will not understand the procedure of how they arrived at the correct answer. A right-brained person will usually have to start with the answer and work their way backwards in order to be able to see and understand the parts and process that create the whole.

Your Intuitive Analysis
When you process information using this method, you rely upon your "gut" feelings to form your conclusions. For example, you often choose an answer on a test because of a "gut" feeling you have, and although you are often correct, you do not understand the details of why you are correct. You also often pay attention to clear and intelligible meanings.

(hmmm.. perhaps I should take up gambling. ;-)

Fantasy-oriented Processing
Fantasy-oriented processing is used by the right hemisphere as a method for processing information with creativity. It focuses much less on rules and regulations than the processing method of a left-brained person. Due to the fantasy-oriented processing mechanism of a right-brained person, they do not adjust well to change. Instead of adapting to the change in the environment, a right-brained person attempts to change it back to the way they liked it. But fantasy-oriented processing also provides the advantage of creativity to right-brained individuals, and since emotion is integral of the right side of the brain, anything a fantasy-oriented person becomes involved in emotionally will aid their ability to learn.

Your Fantasy-oriented Analysis
You have the ability to use both creativity and reality to process the information you receive. This is a unique gift that allows you to both focus on rules and regulations but to also act with creativity. You are able to adjusting to change, even though you might not like it, and you can become emotionally involved in your work if it interests you.

(Again - spot on!)

Holistic Processing
Holistic processing is a method used by the right hemisphere to process information. The information is processed from whole to parts. A right-brained person, through holistic processing, is able to see the big picture first, but not the details that accompany it. A strongly holistic person may often find that prior to listening to a lecture given by an instructor, they must first read the chapter so that they better understand what the lecture is about. This function is also what provides to you your visual spatial skills. It also aids in tasks such as dancing and gymnastics. Through holistic processing, memory is stored in auditory, visual, and spatial modalities.

Your Holistic Analysis
You show some ability to process data holistically, starting with the whole and working backwards to find the parts, which inform the whole, to form your conclusion. When you process information in a linear manner you are able to start with the parts and work up to form the whole. It is important to be comfortable with both methods, as both are equally necessary in the learning process.

(Good thing I am somewhere on the middle with this one. Explains why sometimes it takes me a little more time to process, but once I do - I get it even better than the person explaining it.)

Nonverbal Processing
Nonverbal processing is a method used by the right hemisphere to process our thoughts with illustrations. Reliance on this method is why it is occasionally difficult for right-brained people to "find the right words" in certain situations. A right-brained person cannot just read or hear information and process it, but first must make a mental video to better understand the information they have received. For example, through nonverbal processing, a person giving directions may say, "Continue going straight until you see a big, red-brick courthouse. At the courthouse turn right, and go down that street for a couple of miles until you se a gray stone church which will be on your right. Straight across from the church is the road to the left you need to take." With nonverbal processing, the directions that are given are extremely visual compared to the exact, sequential directions that would be given by a left-brained person.

Your Nonverbal Analysis
When processing your thoughts and ideas, you use tend to use both illustrations and words. When giving directions, you probably use both visual illustrations such as, "keep going until you see a McDonalds on your right; then turn left at the Home Depot", and technical terms such as, "travel for two miles and turn east onto First Street."

(Yes! If I give you a map - I will write the directions and draw a pic. People always look at me as if I am crazy!)

Concrete Processing
Concrete processing is a method associated with the right hemisphere that is used for processing things that can be seen or touched. It processes much of the information you receive from real objects. For example, a right-brained person is not just satisfied that a mathematical formula may work, but will want to know why it works. A strongly concrete person often finds it easier to solve a mathematical problem by "drawing it out" because it allows them to visualize it. The more a concrete person can visualize something the easier it is for them to understand it.

Your Concrete Analysis
At times, you feel the need to see a real object in order to understand it. At other times, you are able to understand a problem on a symbolic level. For example, you may find that in solving math problems, it occasionally helps you to "draw out" the problem in order to understand and solve it.

(Yeah - I need to know why is this what it is? Let me see it..)

Random Processing
Random processing is a method used by the right hemisphere for processing information. The information that is received is processed without priority. A right-brained person will usually jump from one task to another due to the random processing by their dominant right hemisphere. Random processing is, of course, the opposite of sequential processing therefore making it difficult for right-brained individuals to choose to learn in sequence. In order to overcome this, a right-brained person may want to attempt to learn sequence by using colors since the right hemisphere is sensitive to color. For example, you may want to associate the first step with green, the second step with blue, and the last step with red. Consistently using the same sequence will allow you to see that this strategy can be applied to many tasks involving sequence.

Your Random Analysis
You tend to not process data randomly, preferring instead to follow a systematic, logical order from first to last. You have difficulty making "leaps of logic" which prevents you from making unique discoveries, or adapt to change during your thinking process.

(Well.. I mean.. I have to understand it completely, doesn't everyone? ;)

Take the test, then come back and share your scores in the comment section, or maybe just share a link to your page.

Have a great Monday!

PS- Joining a blog hop! Let me know you stopped by! If it's your first time - check out my tabs at the top and on the left side!
>

In the midst of winter..

2012-01-22T09:25:00.001-06:00

Speaking very frankly, everything is a little up in the air these days.

Surprisingly, I'm okay with it.

I have found a life raft to hold onto. It was never lost. Just packed away in the back storage area of my mind. I swept the cobwebs away... I dried my tears.... I straightened my hair, my shirt... I put on my best smile, along with some great lipstick..

And I prayed.

That's what I did.

I let go. Completely let go.

Once I did that, everything sort of fell into place.

The important things, that is.

The egyptian opened up and grabbed my hand and spoke ever so softly, "I'm not letting go."

I looked around and I found friendship where I least expected it.

I found inspiration from a 5 year old. From the woods I find myself in. From the books I am reading.

It's as if...

Someone spread a little pixie dust and just said, "You will be okay."

On New Year's Eve, on the beach, sitting on the Atlantic - I symbolically let it all go. 2012 has not disappointed.

No, I am not gainfully employed.

Yes, you have hung in with me for the past 6 months.

Many of you left.

That's okay. When you read a person's life, it's like reading a story book. We hate to see when things don't necessarily get better. But it is reality. The good news is, I WAS able to pick myself up. 6 months later. 1/2 a year without a job. 4 months without my own home.

It's a wild, wild world we live in.

I have so, so, so many options.

Trust me, I am trying them all. For some reason the doors are not opening. I don't know why. I suppose employers are just pickier now a days. I can't do anything to change that. I can't make you like me. I can't make some one hire me. I can't make you agree with me. I can't be everything some one is looking for.

What I can do is be me. That's all I've got.

Hopeful. Dramatic. Emotional. Erratic. Neurotic. Imaginative. God-seeking. Independent. Opinionated me.

Either you get me, or you don't.

I pulled two posts I had originally written this week. One was about the places I sent my resume and one was about what is happening with the egyptian. I decided, I wanted to keep those plans to myself. It looks, and seems completely willy-nilly, and I get that. I can't control what HE does, and I can't control how fast a company can call me back. We have a plan, even as crazy as it is.

You have to remember, when you lose everything - anything is possible.

It involves BIG moves, and leaving everything behind. It involves risks and taking insane chances.

I honestly don't see any problem with that - since nothing is happening here, while I rot in the woods of the Oconee National Forest.

I have enjoyed my stay in middle Georgia. If the powers that be want me to remain, something will open up. A position I have applied for, a home that is just calling my name - and then the egyptian will join me. Perhaps I am supposed to live in New England, if that is so - it will happen. Or maybe I am to join the egyptian far, far away. I am open to that also.

My plan is to make a decision after my 39th birthday.

I feel like maybe many of you felt when you graduated from college. For the first time in my life, there is no plan - only hopes and dreams. Maybe this is my time to wander...

Maybe.. I am finally living up to my motto - "Life is a journey, not a destination."

I want to leave you with one of my favorite poems by Robert Frost. I have no choice but to take his advice.

Maybe that's what God intended all along.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim

Because it was grassy and wanted wear,

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I marked the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Defining Romance

2012-01-21T08:34:00.000-06:00

This morning I got to thinking about romance, and what it really means to me - and you!

Obviously, I'm a girl, so my idea of what is romantic is some how tied to what I find to be beautiful, or overly emotional, and very possessive in nature.

I came to this conclusion when I was trying to think of visual images, or actions, to share that could evoke the feelings of romance - all within my framework of what is considered romantic.

For instance, I love the idea of changing your last name when you get married. When I married the egyptian, I debated changing my last name, since it was Arabic and could raise an eyebrow from time to time when I send a resume out. I know that is a ridiculous reason, but more and more I often wonderful if I am passed over because employers assume I might be a foreigner or even more shocking - a Muslim.

But at the end of the day, I decided to change my name. Why? It made me feel married. When in Egypt, we had a simple, casual ceremony. Then in America, the same thing. Our reception was more of a party - so I did not get the white dress "married" feeling. By changing my last name, I became his. (possession - see?) I liked the idea that we were now officially "family."

I find the idea of flowers to be very romantic. When I was younger, no way. But now, I appreciate their beauty. When I saw this bouquet for a girls wedding, I thought it was the most romantic idea of all - her flowers were wrapped in the lace from her mother's wedding dress.

How romantic is that?

Lace, pearls, flowers, anything delicate and sentimental says romance to me.

I even have my Great Grandmother's crucifix. I have my maternal grandmother's wedding band. I have my paternal grandmother's cameos - all of these items are very romantic to me.

I believe heirloom jewelry and other items passed down from one generation to the next is such a romantic idea.

A romantic dinner for two could be considered highly romantic.

The idea of an intimate setting, candle light, twinkle light, perhaps a glass of wine to invoke the feeling of giddiness and and less inhibition.

Comforting the tummys all the while sharing something as intimate as private conversation.

Some of my more deep conversations with the egyptian have taken place over dinner. We typically talk for a very long time - which is why I love going out to dinner with him.

Every girl should have her chance to wear a white dress for her wedding. If you did not have a wedding, even an intimate gathering with a few witnesses, you missed out. (Yes, I do believe a court house wedding is intimate and just as lovely! As long as you make it romantic.)

But to wear that white gown, and travel down an aisle with your father at your side, to see the man you love, in front of every one you care about and cares about you - that's something you will never forget.

I know I have never shared my pics of my first wedding here, and maybe one day I will. I had a very formal, Catholic wedding to my first husband. My dress was exactly what I wanted.

Whenever I see a wedding gown, I immediately think - romance. More of the tulle and lace and pearls - the better!

A beach side wedding is also extremely romantic in my eyes.

The sound of the surf, the smell of the ocean air, with little hints of flowers...

Whenever I attend a seaside wedding, my nerves calm, and I always think - I would LOVE to have a wedding like this.

Granted, I never did - but I do find it to be an extremely romantic idea.

I find the idea of purchasing a lock, writing your name and your love's name on it, hooking it to a bridge and tossing the key in the water is extremely romantic.

Especially when that bridge happens to be the Ponts des Arts, and that bridge happens to be in Paris, France, and the key just so happens to float to the bottom of the Seine.

Ahh.. words cannot describe.

I totally want to try this one day!

I also find the Loy Kratong (Floating Lantern) Festival in Chiang Mai, Thailand to be very romantic.

It takes place at night, in the 12th month of the Thai Lunar calendar on a full moon. Basically you place a candle inside a banana leaf krathong and release it into the sky.

The act of this represents symbolic of letting go of all one's grudges, anger and defilements, so that one can start life afresh on a better foot. People will also cut their fingernails and hair and add them to the raft as a symbol of letting go of the bad parts of oneself. Many Thai believe that floating a raft will bring good luck, and they do it to honor and thank the Goddess of Water, Phra Mae Khongkha.

The idea of letting it all go - is very romantic to me.

The Lovers of Valdaro happen to be the most romantic of all ideas. Think - ancient "The Notebook."

Believed to be no older than twenty years of age when death occurred. Over 5,000 years old. Locked in an eternal embrace. Tragically, their story is unknown. Ironically, they were found in the city of Mantua, Italy.

This picture symbolizes everything true love should represent. Beautiful, mystifying, tragic.

Have you ever taken the time to watch two birds that have decided to spend their lives together?

The attention to detail, the concern for the nest, the hunting and gathering...

It's all very beautiful.

Romantic.

I like the way the male bird does everything he can to provide for the family, while the female builds the nest.

It's very 1950's Beaver Clever-eque - but beautiful all the same.

Juliet's home - in fair Verona, Italy. Letters for centuries are pasted to the door, asking for advice from Shakespeare's Juliet.

The idea of reaching out to a fictional character for love advice is very romantic.

Perhaps it is the ridiculousness of it all - which is very romantic in nature, is what touches me the most.

I would love to leave a note here.

Did you know that sea otters lock hands with their mate when they go to sleep at night?

This way they do not float away from one another.

Possession.

I like it.

It's romantic.

It's safe.

Also - did you know that sea horses may spend their entire lives searching for one mate. Once they do, they connect and lock. If one dies, so does the other.

How beautiful? How romantic?

How tragic?

Finally, I like the idea of regardless of what you have gone through as a couple, regardless of the bumps and what not -

I think the most romantic idea of all... if still choosing to be with that person.

That is where I am - I still choose my egyptian.

What's your romantic story?

Need some humor? Dousing the Flames

2012-01-20T09:24:00.000-06:00

I have been laughing a lot lately, all because of the silly videos on YouTube..

Check these out:

I hate talking about it...

2012-01-18T09:57:00.000-06:00

I saw a post on a friends wall about "National Mental Health Awareness Week." I could not verify when that date actually is, but one of the words on the quote/pic really struck home. It was nice to see someone NOT suffering from anxiety, depression, or panic disorder stand up for those who do.

I have mentioned in maybe two or three posts in the past three years of blogging that I, indeed, have Panic Disorder. Officially diagnosed. Lovely, isn't it?

To be honest with you, it embarrasses the hell out of me. You have no idea. In the past, I have written about the facts, and what not, but this time, I want to tell you what it is REALLY like.

I still remember my first panic attack. Granted, we had NO IDEA what it was, but just know - it was horrific. I was walking with my Great Grandmother, someone I always felt safe with, down a local mall. There was a china doll show going on, and I loved dolls in general. She was holding my hand when suddenly I felt dizzy. I told her I felt like I needed to sit down, the room was spinning and my neck began to feel numb, and the numbness was spreading to my lips. She walked me to a bench as we waited for the symptoms to pass, as well as wait for my mother to arrive. Get this - I was 8.

After that first episode, it would happen quite frequently in school. I was so clueless as to what was going on, I would raise my hand and tell my teacher I was not feeling good. I remember my teacher was not nice to me about it, and told me to pull myself together, and that there was nothing wrong with me, AND that she was sick of me pretending to be sick.

Oh yeah.

Then it started happening while I was in church. We would be sitting through the service and I would tap my mom's arm and tell her it was happening again. She would turn to me and tell me to be quiet, that nothing was wrong with me.

I began to wonder myself. But I KNEW something was not right. Finally, she took me to the doctor, I was about 9 years old, and the doctor could find nothing wrong with me. He did note that my heart rate and blood pressure was elevated. He said it was probably nothing more than "white coat syndrome," and suggested to my mother that I see a psychiatrist. My mother and father were completely against that idea.

As the months and years passed, I would have them in class, or at the grocery store, or the video store, or when we went out to eat. Did not matter, they would just happen when they wanted to. If I was home alone, they would happen. My mom would always get mad and tell me to stop it, and that I was just looking for attention.

The symptoms began to change - I would feel short of breath, and dizzy. I felt like I was going to faint, though I never actually fainted. I would feel a sense of disconnect, like I was in a dream. These feelings would last for maybe 15 minutes... then they would subside. I was told so many times that I was making it up, that I began to feel ashamed, and would find ways to pretend everything was okay, but all the while, mentally, I was going through hell.

I perfected this as I got older.

In high school, I would typically have a panic attack in class rooms where there was very little freedom. What I mean by this, a room where the teacher did not allow you to go to the bathroom, or you could not talk. Looking back, it was my fear of being trapped, and a person with panic disorder, that is the worst place you could be. Especially in a classroom where you could not pick your seat. Oh. My. Word. I hated being in the center of the room and far away from the door.

Let me just remind you, for the most part - I was fairly normal. I dated a lot, I had tons of friends, I was very active and involved. I did not sulk in the background and let this consume me. I tried my best to be as normal as possible. I would pretend everything was okay. To a point where, at 16 years old, my doctor informed my mother I had high blood pressure. I weighed 105 pounds, and danced a few nights a week for two hours, and ate very healthy. I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. No one could figure out why.

I knew.

Later, I found a book at the book store called Anxiety Disorders. I was working a part time job, and had the money to purchase it. I read it, and suddenly I got it. I had a name for this thing I felt, and then I got mad. Really, really mad. Here I was feeling HORRIBLE, and never knowing it was something that could be dealt with.

Next - college. I get to college and was in the back of mind, worried I would have this problem. Remarkably, the panic attacks were fewer, though still there. I was having the time of my life - partying, taking classes I enjoyed. If I did not want to go to class, no big deal. Did I have attacks? Sure. But I was the master at pretending all was okay. I ended up in a very committed relationship with one guy who just happened to be studying psychology. We talked quite openly about my panic attacks. I got to the point I was trying to figure out what triggered them. I began to believe I might have ADD or ADHD, since it seemed to happen when LOTS of stuff was going on, or I was trying to focus and make a decision.

I decided to talk with a therapist at the school. It was free, and heck - why not?

BEST DAMNED THING I EVER DID. At 21 years old, I meet with someone trained in this sort of thing. She recommended I go and have some diagnostic tests done to see if I had ADHD.

I met with another doctor, who after talking to me for 15 minutes said, "Look, I've been at this for 30 years. You have Panic Disorder."

I knew it, but I was not sure. He went ahead and did different tests on me, but at the end of the day - Panic Disorder.

WOW. It felt good to have a name for it. Still embarrassed as hell, but at least I knew why I would feel terrified for no reason.

He recommended we try a combo of things. Take a prescribed medicine for one year and also begin cognitive behavior therapy. I did not understand why I needed the meds, but he explained it would teach my body what it should feel like without panic attacks. I can honestly say - for one year of my life, I experienced absolutely no panic attacks - that was 1996 - and to this day, I say that was one of the best year of my life. I was making all As and Bs in college, I was more active than ever, I was peaceful - it was awesome.

I was also talking with a therapist and getting to the root of the panic. I figured a lot of things out - about myself and about what I wanted.

I hate telling anyone about that part, but the truth of the matter is - it worked. It's EMBARRASSING to admit these things, because we all want to be seen as normal - but if someone else out there is going through what I went through, I want them to know it does get better.

Later, I came off of the pill, and learned to live a "normal life." I would then have a panic attack a couple of times a month. Which is REALLY good for someone like me. Now, the underlying anxiety is always there - lurking. I worry ALL THE TIME. I have to consciously turned that part of the brain off. You can imagine how hard it has been since all of my life changes recently -and yes, the panic attacks are back. Maybe a few a week. No - no one is aware of them, but I am. I will just go to sleep or read, or ... get this.. the best therapy of all - writing.

My blog has been a wonderful place to pour out all of my thoughts, my emotions, my worries. When someone wants to stifle my creativity or expression, it makes me what to pour out more. Losing my job and my home has caused me to go into a deep, DEEP sense of anxiety. But in month 5 of unemployment, I have been able to pull myself out of the funk. 2012 - I am much stronger. The support from the egyptian has been phenomenal. We are working to correct our financial situation and get back on track. My closest friends, for the most part, are there. (Some try harder than others...) But 2012 is my year.

At the end of the day - Panic Disorder is real and it is terrifying. I do not TYPICALLY tell anyone, unless it comes up in conversation. If you are with me now, you will never ever know when I am having one. I might have one in a meeting, or an interview, or at the doctor's office, or while walking through a mall with you. All you might see is I take a few deep breaths and sigh - I might mention I am just tired - and by the time you even think to ask if I am feeling better, I will be over it. ;-)

When life gets complicated, they come back. With life transitions, they come back. But I'm okay. I know what to do, I know they won't last, and I know to just try my best to relax.

Before I go any further - I found the BEST video that explains this. PLEASE watch.

What I try to do now is cut the stress out. Remove myself from people or situations that cause unnecessary anxiety.

I just recently watched an episode of Jersey Shore, where Vinnie was dealing with anxiety. I think he explained it best when he said that he will have a panic/anxiety attack, (and for him, he says that's the easy part,) he believes the residual anxiety is what is the hardest to deal with. I totally understand him on that one.

He decided to remove himself, temporarily from the house,and go home to 'get himself better.' Sometimes I do that, I remove myself from people or places or things to give myself a time out. For my brain to heal itself from the anxiety or situation.

Again, it is embarassing as hell to talk about - but it's part of who I am.

Now, as an adult, I only have them in phases, and they are very much associated with stressful situations. I am soooo glad it is only this. Will I always have them? Probably. Are they controlable now? Absolutely.

Also, it is important to know, I do NOT take drugs to control it. I took myself off of the med they gave me when I was 22 right at a year of use, and have never gone back. I know it would be easier with it, but I don't think it is for me.

What are your thoughts on anxiety and panic? Do you suffer from this disorder? Have you ever had a panic attack during a stressful situation. Also, if you have any questions for me - feel free to email me at snicoleabdou@gmail.com

PS - Saw the funniest post - had to share -

PS - In therapy, 9 times out of 10 - this is EXACTLY what causes anxiety. ;-) LOL

Cultures Collide

2012-01-17T08:19:00.000-06:00

"What is tolerance? It is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly - that is the first law of nature. "~Voltaire

This morning, I reacted. I felt I did not have choice. Be it right, or be it wrong, in my mind I was simply protecting some one I care very deeply about.

At the end of the day, what we believe is essentially in the very fiber of our being. I can be accepting and open. I can listen, I can learn, I can pick out the good. But on a very fundamental level, the very one that defines what I perceive to be my soul, I don't believe.

Please note: this post may be a little long, but it is so important you read it all of the way through.

Here's the scenario - this morning, Autumn, my 5 year old niece, was having a "bad morning." Maybe you moms out there know about these mornings, for me they are a very new occurrence. Autumn has taken up sleeping on the fold out couch with me, more often than not. Originally, her mom (my sister,) would allow her to spend the night with me in the living room on the weekends. Autumn saw this as a treat, and of course, I did not mind. The couch is a double bed, so it works out just fine.

Now Autumn sleeps with me each night. Heather does not mind, so I don't mind. Especially now that it is winter. Her little body is like a furnace most nights, and keeps me warm until morning. This morning was not a good one for her. She has been sporting a little cold the past couple of days, maybe allergies, whatever the case may be, sniffles, coughs, etc. Last night, all of the drainage finally got into her chest and she had the most croupy coughs I have ever heard. I kept rolling her on her side, because apparently she would cough more on her back. (PS - you moms may already know this stuff, I do not.. just follow along.)

When Heather came in to wake her up to go to school, Autumn went into crying uncontrollably mode. She sank down to the floor, refusing to walk to the bathroom, where a warm bath was awaiting her. Next thing I know, WWIII. Screaming, patience gone, crying... needless to say, at 6:30 in the morning, I was sooo glad I went to bed around 10:30 or so.

Finally, after MUCH battle, she takes her bath and gets dressed. I see Heather putting a necklace around her neck, and I glanced over. It was a pentagram.

Now, for those of you who don't know, my sister considers herself a celtic pagan. Celtic polytheism, commonly known as Celtic paganism, refers to the religious beliefs and practices adhered to by the Iron Age peoples of Western Europe now known as the Celts, roughly between 500 BCE and 500 CE.

Various Neopagan groups claim association with Celtic polytheism. These groups range from the Reconstructionists, who work to practice ancient Celtic religion with as much accuracy as possible; to new age, eclectic groups who take some of their inspiration from Celtic mythology and iconography, the most notable of which is Neo-druidry.

Apparently, Autumn's father used to follow some of this also, and gave Autumn this necklace. If you will remember, Heather was a confirmed Catholic, who later broke away from the Catholic church. She and Bill, Autumn's father, had Autumn baptised in th Catholic church, however have not taken her back. However, apparently Bill now takes Autumn to a Lutheran church in Ocala, Florida, where he lives, when she is in town.

Back to this morning: I took in a BIG breathe and said, "Heather! You CANNOT let her wear that to school."

As soon as I said the words, I knew she would take it the wrong way. See, Autumn goes to a school in a town call Gray, Georgia. Population: Very little. This is a town that is still trying to accept integration of neighborhoods and schools. (If you think I am kidding, go sit in a local diner here and ask someone.) There are no Catholic churches, nor Islamic mosques, nor Jewish temples. I know for a fact, if a 5 year old walks into Gray elementary with a big pentagram on her chest, issues will erupt.

Heather says, "She wore it last year once and no one said anything." My eyes just got big. Autumn then replies, "Yes, someone did. One person." She goes on to explain the story.

Autumn then looks at me and asks, "What does it mean?" I replied, "It means nothing to me. I don't follow this religion, but it might mean something to your mother. I believe you are too young to really understand any of it." I then went on to explain that over the years, she will be exposed to many different religions, and that she will find her way.

Heather sort of sighed and tucked Autumn's necklace into her shirt. I turned to Autumn and said, "Look Autumn, there are even places where my crucifix would be frowned upon."

I know that for a fact. I have heard so many ridiculous things about the Catholic church, from well meaning people. Imagine Autumn going into a school with a bunch of redneck children, and the hell that will follow her for years.

Maybe it's because I ran with a different crowd than my sister. Heather was a shy, introverted, behind the scenes theater kid, gifted, unassuming student. I, on the other hand, as am extroverted, in front of the scenes, dated a lot, semi-gifted, opinionated student. I KNOW what the mean girls will do. In elementary and middle, I was picked on by some of the mean girls. By 9th grade, I was in the game. I DON'T want Autumn to experience any of it.

I know, I know. Wave your freak flag, be proud of who you are. BUT AUTUMN IS TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND ANY OF IT. Sure, I went to Sunday school and church as a kid, and yes, I said I believed because I was told, "This is what you believe." But my personal relationship with God happened a little later, maybe as young as 9 or so, I began to pray. I began to understand. By 12, I was studying the catechism... and so on and so forth. That whole story is for another day.

But now, I just wanted to share this. I felt like I was conflicting. I was being hypocritical. I say, "Be proud of who you are and what you believe." But on the other hand, I also say, "Don't be stupid."

Maybe it's because of what my fundamental belief system is. I am not a polytheist. I believe in one God. I am not a pagan. Do I begrudge those of you who are? No. Do I believe what you believe? Absolutely not. Will I discuss religion and faith with you? If you want to, sure.

Just to clarify, so that you walk away educated, here is what the pentagram REALLY is about:
The pentagram (sometimes known as a pentalpha or pentangle or, more formally, as a star pentagon) is the shape of a five-pointed star drawn with five straight strokes. Pentagrams were used symbolically in ancient Greece and Babylonia, and are used today as a symbol of faith by many Wiccans, akin to the use of the cross by Christians and the Star of David by Jews. The pentagram has magical associations, and many people who practice Neopagan faiths wear jewelry incorporating the symbol. Christians once more commonly used the pentagram to represent the five wounds of Jesus. The pentagram has associations with Freemasonry and is also utilized by other belief systems.

The outer circle of the circumscribed pentagram is sometimes interpreted as binding the elements together or bringing them into harmony with each other. The Neopagan pentagram is generally displayed with one point up, partly because of the "inverted" goat's head pentagram's association with Satanism; however, within traditional forms of Wicca a pentagram (no circle) with two points up is associated with the Second Degree Initiation and in this way differs from the encircled pentacle inverted of Satanism.

Because of a perceived association with Satanism and also because of negative societal attitudes towards Neopagan religions and the "occult", many United States schools have sought to prevent students from displaying the pentagram on clothing or jewelry. In public schools, such actions by administrators have been determined to be in violation of students' First Amendment right to free exercise of religion.

The circle around a pentagram (transforming it in to a pentacle) is a symbol of "unity, wholeness, infinity, the goddess, and protection. To earth-centered religions throughout history as well as to many contemporary pagans, it represents the feminine spirit or force, the cosmos or a spiritualism Mother Earth, and a sacred space." The five-pointed star is representative of the four primal elements (earth, air, fire and water,) and traditionally a fifth, called spirit. The circle binds them together to create life.

At the end of the day, there is nothing wrong with respecting the "unity and wholeness," nor recognizing the power of the four elements. I understand the idea of the feminine spirit, since Earth and all it's inhabitants have the ability to create and procreate, but at the end of the day, it is not something I see to be the one source of creation.

I want Autumn to follow her heart. I want her to be able to express herself, but at the same time - as her Aunt and her Godmother, (yes, I am her official Godmother,) where do I draw the line? I must use the right words, and be considerate of my sister's belief system, regardless as to if I believe it or not. If I am to follow my faith, it is my responsibility to make sure she is at least given the information, and at a later date, when she is ready, she can make the choice.

Any advice in this matter would be greatly appreciated. :-)

PS - To my pagan or wiccan blog followers, please know, I do not mean any disrespect. I am trying to balance my faith with acceptance. It's a little harder when it hits closer to home. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Things I want in my life

2012-01-16T09:12:00.000-06:00

A while back, our fried Leanne at From Chaos Comes Happiness, asked us to check out Oprah's dream board. The idea is to create a visual of what you want in your life.

I got to laughing, because, isn't that kinda what Pinterest is? I know I have been saving recipes and craft ideas and decorating ideas and clothing ideas... all for when I am gainfully employed again.

Then I began to think, perhaps I should do a mini vision board here, a newer one that reflects my new way of thinking. In the past 6 months, so much has happened to me, and it has changed my desires - drastically.

So what EXACTLY is a vision board?
According to visionboardvault.com:
A Vision Board is simply a visual representation of your aspirations in life. It is a tool for you to be able to manifest all of your dreams into reality by focusing your energy on them.

It is based on the Law of Attraction that simply states that “like attracts like”. Your thoughts are a form of energy and whatever energy you send out to the universe, the universe conspires to bring like energies back to you. For the religious, the ‘universe’ is God—that infinite force that creates all things.

The Law of Attraction may be considered a new age belief. It has recently been brought to worldwide attention when author Rhonda Byrne wrote “The Secret”. But it has already been the subject of many books in the past and has been practiced by “the wise” for the longest time. In fact, it is found in the words of the prophets and philosophers of old!

I remember as a child reading the book, "Creative Visualization" by Shakti Gawin. I was 10. I used to visualize myself doing certain things, living certain places, etc. Not that I realized I was actually doing it - but guys, call me crazy, but it worked. I look at it as a heart's desire in a visual prayer form.

Whatever the case - here are some things I want, some places I want to see, some quotes I want to believe, and some things I want to do and understand in the near future.

Let's start with me going for a new Bob haircut. I like this:

Then I would like to incorporate even more navy into my life....

I want to invest in a really nice watch....

And find a really creative way to hang all of those beautiful Christmas cards each year...

Plus I want to try my hand at decoupage.. and create interesting pieces with every day things..

I need a new couch. This one would fit perfectly into my life!

I even want one of those incredible shower heads.... I think it is worth the money....

Next Halloween, I want to take a classy approach to my decor.

I've put it off too long. It's time to go to Greece...

I want to bring the white Christmas tree back into my house. I used to have a beautiful one!

I want to learn new ways to be healthier....

And go back to an old fashioned way of working out...

And use this color scheme in my next bathroom... let it be my sanctuary....

Why not invest in a swanky pair of boots? Something I've never owned...

And snack on apple sandwiches....

And be more organized when it comes to my coupons.. and actually using them...

Try new ways every day to incorporate health into my life...

Try to eat more sandwiches - here is an avocado, egg and bacon one...

Help the birds with their nests... they apparently will gather the string and use!

I want to write amazing verses on plates, and use this as my dinner ware...

Continue to enjoy a more bohemian style... need more greens...

Eat more guacamole sandwiches...

Invest in more teal.....

What do you want to bring more of in your life?

Things I'm Loving

2012-01-15T09:03:00.000-06:00

Every once in a while, I share with you something I am just absolutely loving these days. Well, it's time to do that again!

1. Coffee. It's a simple joy, but one in which I get to take part in each and every morning. The smooth taste, the rich aroma, the slight kick to the brain, it's my drug of choice. This simple pleasure is what I enjoy as I type these words to you.

2. Cameos. I have always admired cameos, but lately, I DESIRE cameos. My grandmother (Thurston) had a beautiful set of black cameo earrings that my parents gave her. Apparently, when she died, my family got them back. My mom gave them to me just a month ago. I have treasured these ever since. I would really like a cameo ring, and apparently there is a matching necklace to these earrings, that I would love to have. (*hint hint for my birthday, Mom. ;-) )

3. Nail Polish. I don't have any reason to get dressed up these days. I probably apply make up maybe once or twice a week now. But there is one thing I have been doing more than ever before - painting my nails. It's a way for me to feel feminine without breaking out all of the expensive cosmetics. Right now I have on a blue slate from Revlon. ($7 from Target, a gift I got from my Target gift card, thanks Anna Kaye!!)

4. Used books. Another saving options has been for me dart up the street to Keema's Hobby Book Store, where she sells used books. I go about once a month and buy a stack (all under $10.) I just finished reading two books - The Book of the Dead by Preston & Child, and Dead Sleep by Greg Iles. Next up - a romance by Debbie Macomber called "Morning Comes Softly." I am able to escape after my morning of blogging and job hunting, and let's be honest.. planning to go into business for myself. ;-)

5. Hummus & Carrots. This is a major thank you to Laura at the blog Twirl, and one of dearest friends in "real life." I usually eat Hummus the way the Egyptians do - with pita or bagel chips. She introduced to me the idea of eating carrots with it. Oh Laura.. I am in love. I don't know why I never thought of it before! I recently purchased a bag of carrots (cut into chips) and have loved every morsel! What a healthy snack!

6. Olive Oil Soap. I bought a 2$ bar of soap from Olive Forge Herb farm and it is the best soap yet! I use it even on my face, which I was afraid it would end up making my face break out - but it doesn't, AND my skin is in the best condition yet. It is all organic. Again - I highly recommend it.

7. Day trippin'. I have been taking off to little areas and just going to explore. It's been a lot of fun - I will research some random place, and go check it out. Like always, I end up cultivating a relationship with the owners of shops, or the area, it's just what I do. But it's been a nice distraction.

8. Day dreaming. For the first time in a LOOOONG time the world is my oyster. I have been conjuring up some plans, and it's kind of exciting. But FIRST - I need $$ and more than unemployment is giving. I applied to two my more jobs, this time in the other neighboring town of Milledgeville. One is as a Study Abroad Advisor at my old university! How cool would that be??? God willing, I will get an interview and knock em dead! (still thinking of the Peace Corps - but that's a long way away.)

9. Open Communication with the Egyptian. Did I mention we are madly in love? LOL It's nice to be on the other end of this mess. I love that guy. Some one of my favorite things is loving that man!

10. Finally, just seeing the out pouring of love from people who really care about me. Friends I never thought I had came forward, and those that I thought were new friends turned out to be golden. I never forget a nice gesture, or a kind word, and I tell you - I am beyond humbled by their encouragement. PS - I love my blog friends too - you guys have been INCREDIBLE!

Those are just a few of the things I am loving these days. What about you?

**photos were found on pinterest - no idea who they originally belong to! CREDIT WILL BE GIVEN IF YOU ASK!

Inspiration

2012-01-14T08:22:00.000-06:00

How can you NOT be inspired on such a beautiful day? It's Saturday morning, and with that, a sense of happiness is just floating along. Maybe it's the energy of all of the kids watching cartoons and getting ready to head outside to play. I don't know - but Saturday just FEELS different.

I have kept the MOMENTUM going and I am staying in good spirits. Trust me, it's been a bit of a test around these parts, but for the most part - I am taking it all in stride.

There is just too much out there to inspire us! Have you taken a moment this week to see it yet?

I have a few truly inspiring videos to share with you. These pieces just warm my heart, give me hope, and hopefully, you will feel the same.

We can find inspiration from animals:

Again - animals and friendship:

People stepping outside of the box -

More of those wild and crazy people who just LIVE -

Or holding onto ideals that one could only dream about -

Or remembering what we were trying to accomplish - before it's too late -

Or how about achieving physical greatness?

Or remembering that every day counts..

Or to look to our youth for guidance -

Finally, we must remember to never give up!

LinkedIn - Helpful or just another site?

2012-01-14T07:39:00.000-06:00

I joined LinkedIn probably two years ago, maybe longer. It wasn't until this year that I actually got in there and finished my profile. So many people have told me, "Use LinkedIn, it will help you find a great job." You would think, great advice, but I am just not sure people are actually viewing my profile.

For fun, I am going to post the entire thing here. A bit of cut and paste if you will. That's right - you will get to see my profile, which honestly, if you went on there and typed my name, you would find everything anyway.. so it's no big secret.

I also know some people who put their resumes on their blog. I don't think I will go that far, but I will give you a peek into my professional experience, references and all.

Even more people say to just "put it out there" - so in a last ditch effort to try to find a traditional form of job, I will go out on a limb and post it here. If over ten thousand of you view this a week, then SOMEONE must be hiring. ;-)

Happy Saturday!

Nicole (Thurston) Abdou
Experienced Marketing & Communications Professional

Location
Georgia

Industry
Public Relations and Communications

Overview
Past Marketing & Communications Director at American Heart Association
Sales Associate at Clinique/Saks, Inc
Communications/Program Specialist at Girl Scouts of Middle Georgia, Inc
News Producer/Marketing & Promotions Producer at WMAZ TV see less

Education Georgia College and State University
Southwest High School

Recommendations 4 recommendations
Connections 116 connections

http://www.linkedin.com/in/nicolethurstonabdou

Summary Edit 11+ Years in Marketing & Public Relations
15+ Years in Media Relations
5+ Years in Television News Producing
2+ Years as a Radio Announcer
Associated Press Award for Best Public Affairs Reporting.
Georgia Association of Broadcasters Award for Excellence in Broadcasting.

Goal - Vice President of Marketing & Communications for a company or non profit.

SpecialtiesWriting, creative writing, photography, strategy, buzz marketing events, voice overs, public speaking & coaching, script writing & editing, social media, professional blogger, brand management, leadership training

Experience
Marketing & Communications Director Edit American Heart Association Nonprofit; 1001-5000 employees; Health, Wellness and Fitness industry
October 2006 – July 2011 (4 years 10 months) Alabama, East Tennessee & the Panhandle of Florida - Based in Birmingham
Secured media sponsorships with local television, radio, newspaper, magazine and billboard companies.
Created and implemented a cause marketing plan to promote physical activity; women & heart disease awareness; childhood obesity; and stroke risk in minorities.
Prepared news releases, photo releases and pitched stories to local media.
Coached and prepped media spokespeople.
Designed a strategic marketing plan for each community around main areas of fundraising and cause awareness.
Managed brand awareness for multiple campaigns. Managed social media accounts. Created a strategic plan for Social Media.
Trained development staff in brand, cause marketing, and coached cause marketing techniques. Assisted in sales pitch to major corporations for $75,000 sponsorships and above.

Sales Associate Edit Clinique/Saks, Inc
November 2005 – October 2006 (1 year) Birmingham, Alabama Area
Set daily sales goals and achieved desired result.
Maintained inventory and implemented standard marketing plan.
Assisted in creating special events around marketing campaign

Communications/Program Specialist Edit Girl Scouts of Middle Georgia, Inc
January 2000 – September 2005 (5 years 9 months)
Handled media relations & volunteer management for a 22 county territory in Middle Georgia.
Developed budgets, news releases, press conferences, and promotional ads for community programs. Coached volunteer spokespeople.
Developed annual report, program manuals, internal newsletters, and other publications as needed.
Designed and implemented character building programs for girls age 5 - 17.
Planned annual meeting and holiday luncheon for Girl Scout council.
Assisted in specific grant proposals for out-reach programs.

News Producer/Marketing & Promotions Producer Edit WMAZ TV
June 1997 – January 2000 (2 years 8 months)
Planned, researched, created line up, and produced the Midday, 5pm and Special Project newscasts.
Edited scripts, wrote stories, edited video for #1 CBS affiliate in the nation.
Wrote, shot & edited video, and produced promotions for television station.

SKILLS - Marketing Strategy Marketing Communications Product Marketing Email Marketing Social Media Social Media Marketing Women's Health Health Promotion Television Production Radio Advertising Field Producing Line Producing Technical Writing Proposal Writing Proposal Preparation Strategic Planning Strategic Communications Corporate Communications Nonprofit Consulting Nonprofit Leadership

Education
Georgia College and State University Edit Bachelor of Science, Telecommunications
(Broadcast Journalism)
1991 – 1997

Activities in school:
CGTV - Local TV station Executive Producer
WXGC - FM Radio Announcer, Classic Rock Show 2 x a week
Camp Martha Johnston - Program Director, Camp Counselor - 1992-1996

South West High School
Macon, Georgia

Activities in school:
Civinettes
Key Club
Mock Trial Competition, Recieved Best Witness
Model United Nations, Received Honorable Mention for debate during Special Political Committee representing Israel.
Theater Macon
Macon Little Theater
Community Children's Theater of Macon
Modern Dance Academy

Recommendations

“As an intern, Nicole was my supervisor at the American Heart Association. She is a strong role model and positive individual. Numerous times, she gave me wisdom and advice during my college years to present; encouraging me in my uncertain path.

I will never forget the influence she had on me. She is an extremely honest person with a driven spirit. Once she sets her mind on something, she accomplishes that task.

She has the gifts of creativity, passion and striving toward a common goal. I would definitely recommend Nicole for such an opportunity.” December 6, 2011
~Anna Kaye Gilbreath, Communications Assistant, American Heart Association
reported to Nicole at American Heart Association

“Nicole Abdou is a creative thinker who comes to the table with strategic suggestions on how to get things done. She creates impactful campaigns on a miniscule budget while working well with corporate partners to ensure they are happy, as well. Nicole brings vast experience and skills to any employer.” December 6, 2011
~ Ashley Loar, Marketing Director, American Heart Association
worked directly with Nicole at American Heart Association

“I was fortunate to call Nicole a colleague for several years. With her excellent experience working in media, communications and marketing, Nicole quickly became my go-to team member for guidance and advice. Her direction always provided clarity and ease for my efforts. With the diverse skills that Nicole possesses, she would be a valuable and powerful player to any company, especially with her strength of public relations and marketing. She is a media guru and expert salesman all in one - a true professional.” November 30, 2011
~ Nancy DeVault, Director of Communications, American Heart Association
worked directly with Nicole at American Heart Association

“Nicole was a tremendous asset to the American Heart Association. She was a dynamic program director and has excellent operational and leadership skills. She is a respected communications specialist at the local, state, and national levels. It was an absolute pleasure working with Nicole.” November 30, 2011
~Mike Willingham, Senior Director Mission: Lifeline, Emergency Medical Services
worked directly with Nicole at American Heart Association

Interests:Photography, Blogging, Travel, Zumba Fitness, Organic Cooking, Coffee
Groups and Associations:Girl Scouts USA, Greater Birmingham Humane Society, Amnesty International, Cultural Academic Student Exchange, Aspect Foundation; Big Brothers Big Sisters

Honors and Awards:Associated Press Award for Best Public Affairs Reporting
Georgia Association of Broadcasters Award for Excellence in Broadcasting

Balancing Act

2012-01-13T14:02:00.000-06:00

These days I am balancing the high and low points.

2011 I felt both at the top of my game, and then at the very bottom of the barrel.

Here I am - 2012, just practicing a little balancing act, and doing a pretty good job of it to.

It's true, when you are up, you need to appreciate all of the good in your life. Feel peace from having enough money to pay your bills, enough love to sleep well at night, and enough happiness to share with those less fortunate.

If you are down, try to remember the good times, and how you felt. Hold on to the good memories, and reach for the stars. This bad time is not forever, even though it seems to be holding on.

Losing so much has afforded me the opportunity to give up so many expectations I was holding onto so strongly.

God has blessed with with the cleanest slate of all.

I am at peace.

I am grateful.

I am hopeful.

I am realistic.

My priorities are changing.

My heart is expanding.

My vision is clearer.

I'm keeping the MOMENTUM.

We're all going to be okay!